1. Decorations should not create tripping hazards.
Is it a tripping hazard if you can’t walk through it?
2. Sharp objects, such as razors, box cutters, syringes, etc, may not be used as part of decorations.
So much for our Breaking Bad theme idea.
3. Please, no open flames
At this point you can hear desperation seeping into the tone of the facilities memo.
4. Animals, other than service animals, are not permitted on the premises.
But it’s a hot dog! Not an animal!
5. If serving red wine, please use caution; any spillage may result in damaging stains.
A very good point, for more occasions than just our Halloween party.
6. Copiers and other office equipment may not be removed, covered and/or decorated.
Well fine then. In the words of Don Draper, “Fear stimulates my imagination.”