It smells like hope in one Brooklyn bodega. There they are, sandwiched as usual between “Egyptian Musk” and “White Diamond.” Obama Incense sticks, FTW.

The Best Links:

1. Incense FAIL
2. Nameless incense with the date 01-20-09 inscribed on the jar, for sale between “BUTT NAKED” and “KUSH.”
3. Bodega Selling Obama Incense

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The ten sure-fire ways to win an Oscar. Some additions: World War 2, chest shot (male or female), boring sporting moment, silly clothes, and orphans.

The Best Links:

1. 10 Ways to Win an Oscar
2. Ten sure-fire ways to win an Oscar

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After being defeated for reelection in 2006, Rep. Melissa Hart (R-PA) just up and left her old Volkswagen Jetta in a parking garage used by members of Congress. Meaning, our congresspeople write things like, “I wish my wife was this dirty,” or, “F-ing wash me!” on dirty car windows. You people are a bunch of goddamn third graders!

The Best Links:

1. Defeated congresswoman’s car still in House parking lot — more than 3 years later — even though she’s a registered lobbyist
2. She’s now, naturally, a lobbyist.

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Link: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-an...

10-foot pythons are breeding, killing people, & roaming the Florida Everglades b/c dumb pet owners set them free years ago. Now, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has declared it Python Season (on March 6th) where anyone w/ a hunting license can go shoot the bastards down!

The Best Links:

1. The Great Python Hunt
2. The World’s Deadliest Snakes Photo Gallery

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his friend…

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CULTURE BUZZ: So it's Doppelganger Week on Facebook. It also looks like “Go to urbandictionary.com and find your name and post it” week. But we can do better. I hereby name this Sex Offender Criminal Name Week! Go to CriminalCheck.com , type your FIRST name where it says “Last Name(required),” and copy and paste the crime or charge of the FIRST entry for your name in the comments!

The Best Links:

1. Criminal Check <- Find Your Name Here!
2. Doppelganger Week

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POLITICS BUZZ: Are you guys ready to meet your new favorite Democratic nominee for lieutenant governor in Illinois?! Scott Lee Cohen, a pawnbroker, was arrested in 2005 for (allegedly!) sticking a knife to the neck of his 24-year old drunk prostitute girlfriend and bopping her head against the wall. Cohen played the whole prostitute thing blind, saying he thought she was a “massage therapist,” which is pretty much the go-to excuse for prostitutes. This is fun because just last Tuesday he won the nomination in a surprise victory soooo, Gov. Quinn's all like, “Great.”

The Best Links:

1. Illinois Lieut. Gov. Nominee Was Arrested For Domestic Violence
2. Details surface of Scott Lee Cohen’s 2005 domestic violence arrest
3. Gov. Quinn urges Scott Lee Cohen to drop out of race over abuse history
4. Democratic Nominee Pulled Knife on Prostitute Girlfriend
5. New questions in 2005 arrest of Democratic lieutenant governor nominee
6. More Juice

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CULTURE BUZZ: “The lights go out, and you drop, and when the lights went out is when he grabbed my left breast.” Naturally, the Tower of Terror's camera snapped a photo, the likes of which is probably dangling on this unidentified man's key chain.

The Best Links:

1. Woman allegedly groped on Disney park ride
2. Disneyland’s Tower of Terror lived up to its name in a disturbing way last week

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A harrowing image showing an abused Tiger Woods has hit the web. It shows injuries he sustained after allegedly being beat by his wife with a golf club following allegations of infidelity. How she managed to get that golf ball in his ear, we'll never know. God speed, Woods family.

The Best Links:

1. Tiger Woods Got Beat Up By His Wife
2. Tiger Woods Feed

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Viggo has a lol! And/or he just ate somebody.

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Two Australian student lovers were caught bangin' in a Sydney clock tower. They managed this sexxxy feat at 3:30pm in the afternoon, in front of a crowd! But still, not a single newspaper in the world can identify who they are (yet). Was it you?!

The Best Links:

1. Who are the clocktower lovers? Do you know them?
2. There’s probably a quick buck in it for you!
3. Couple have sex on clock tower in Sydney centre as shoppers look on - pics
4. Sydney Captivated by Mystery of Naked Lovers
5. Couple Caught Having Sex in Clock
6. Lovers have sex in clock tower above Sydney

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Metallica cover band + Gallagher, the prop comic = Metallagher! They will rock your watermelons.

The Best Links:

1. Metallagher Playing “Creeping Death”
2. Metallagher = Metallica + Gallagher (pics from FFF Fest)
3. Metallagher Play “Fade To Black”
4. Metallagher on Wikipedia
5. Metallagher’s YouTube Channel

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Whilst jumping on taxis in celebration of your local sports team's championship, it's crucial to have an exit plan. This guy, regrettably, did not. And so he fell. Hard. Be careful out there folks.

The Best Links:

1. Gah! Dobbins you are too speedy!!!!
2. Philly Fans Like to Swear on Live TV, Get Hit By Cars
3. Taxis 1, Philadelphians 0

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To find out who really has the higher pain threshold — men or women — one unlucky man heads out to tackle “the ultimate pain test,” labor. It's a boy!

The Best Links:

1. A Man Experiencing Childbirth
2. Experiencing the pain of labor…when you’re male[slyt]

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David Letterman gets his headphones filled with a little internet meme remix. Take it away, Tronovitch!

The Best Links:

1. D.L - “I Have Had Sex” (REMIX)

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Five surviving munchkins from “The Wizard of Oz” sat down recently, dressed in their full munchkin garb, to sing songs and remember the glory days. They're sweet old people! One of them fell asleep during the chat. It's adorable. And they still watch it on DVD all the time!

The Best Links:

1. Return to Oz: 70 Years Later (Video)
2. 2009 Emerald Gala Celebrates 70 Years of The Wizard Of Oz
3. ‘The Wizard of Oz’ still resonates
4. Wizard of Oz, 70 Years Later
5. The Wizard of Oz (1939)

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CULTURE BUZZ: Sarah Lister is afraid of other people's kneecaps. Just seeing strangers' knees leaves her “flustered, angry and sweating profusely.” Yo' knees make me sweat, girl. Technically called Genuphobia, Lister's fear of knees began when she was 11 and her father dislocated his kneecap. Strange, huh?

The Best Links:

1. Spiders? Flying? Heights? No, my greatest fear is… other people’s kneecaps
2. Weak In The Knees

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Suddenly, the thought of teabagging strippers seems delicious. This is your solution for when the hot tub's too far and the strip club's too close. I'll just hope they're not made of fine-chopped stripper thongs. Or will I?

The Best Links:

1. There Is a US President In My Tea Cup

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And on the third day He touched my Bud and it was chilled. God bless you, NASCAR fans.

The Best Links:

1. NASCAR Jesus Would Like To Buy You A Bud

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A muffled house beat. Sweaty, naked bodies. A man, thrusting away from behind. Boobs. And then…Hitler's mustache? It's all to drive home the message for World AIDS Day 2009: “AIDS is a mass murderer.” Heavy stuff.

The Best Links:

1. Evildoers Doing It To Promote World AIDS Day
2. AIDS Is A Mass Murderer
3. World AIDS Day 2009: Saddam
4. The Ad Agency’s Site That Made It

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