August Is The Worst Month

Let’s cancel it.

1. This is August

31 days of misery.

2. It is the worst. Just awful

3. It ain’t right.

4. For so many, many reasons.

5. August is the armpit of the calendar.

6. Be prepared for lots of this

8. This, too.

So awful.

10. The bugs are bigger, louder and scarier in August.

14. August has no holidays. None. 0. Ziltch. Nada.

January has New Year’s Day, of course; February has Valentine’s Day; March has St. Patrick’s Day; April usually has Easter; May, Mother’s Day; June, Father’s Day; July, Independence Day; September, Labor Day; October, Halloween; November, Thanksgiving; and December brings us Christmas and Hannukah.

As you see, each month has something to observe; a day or season to look forward to.

16. Then there’s August, which brings us…

17. National Back To School Month

18. Neurosurgery Outreach Month

19. National Immunization Awareness Month

20. and…

21. Wait for it…

22. NATIONAL GOAT CHEESE MONTH!!!!

23. It’s cheese from goats. All. Month. Long.

24. Most vacations are over or soon will be.

25. Historically August is a terrible month.

26. Vesuvius erupted on August 24, 49 AD, killing 20,000.

27. President Lincoln signed the first income tax into law in August of 1861

In fact, the law is ACTUALLY called the “Act of August 5, 1861.”

28. Babe Ruth died in August.

29. As did Marilyn Monroe.

31. So did Princess Diana

32. The Guadalcanal Campaign began on August 7, 1942

Via Guadalcanal Campaign

33. August 2, 1964 gave us the Tonkin Incident which lead the US to Vietnam

35. Wild Bill was shot.

Holding aces and eights

36. The British burnt the White House

37. The Beatles gave their final concert

38. NONONONONONONO

39. Even sports are awful during August.

40. Baseball is going through the motions till the World Series in 2 months.

41. The NFL is fielding third string players.

But charging top dollar for pre-season games.

42. The Cubs are looking toward next year.

43. Even birds have enough sense to leave August behind.

That’s when they begin their southern migration.

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