1.
There is more to life than TV.
2.
It makes sense to spend more than £8 on a bottle of wine.
3.
You will not find your true love on the dance floor at 2 a.m.
4.
Top Gear is the same old nonsense every week.
6.
Weddings cost a FUCKING fortune.
7.
But remain the best parties of the year.
8.
There are other ways to communicate with your friends than social media. Like speaking on the phone. Or even meeting them in person.
9.
Camping at a festival isn’t cool, it’s torture.
10.
This is what you need.
11.
Going out is generally a great big waste of money.
12.
Being so drunk you don’t know your own name is not attractive to the opposite sex.
13.
And Sundays don't have to be spent like this.
14.
Without a hangover they can actually be quite productive.
15.
The volume dial also turns to the left.
16.
Few things enrich your life like owning a pet.
17.
You can still laugh about them in private but endlessly quoting film and TV quotes really isn't cool anymore.
18.
Being hungover on a Monday is not cool. It’s hell on earth.
19.
Your love for cheese will only grow stronger.
20.
Exercise will no longer be fun. It becomes a necessity.
21.
You are not missing out on anything by going to bed before midnight.
22.
Your parents were right. About everything.
