26 Stages Of Wanting A Pet In A City

“I will never be truly happy until I have a dog.”

1. You love cute animals.

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2. Your life would be complete if you had one of these.

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3. However, you live here.

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4. Not really going to work.

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5. Time to reconsider. Something smaller?

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6. Nope.

(Photo: Justin Sullivan / Getty)
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7. NOPE.

(Photo: Frederick M. Brown / Getty)
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8. Now you’re just being ridiculous.

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9. While you battle with this huge, life-defining issue, you spot cute animals everywhere.

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10. Your overriding reaction is always like this:

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11. And you give serious thought to stealing someone else’s pride and joy.

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13. “I will carry ALL the dogs on the Tube!”

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14. “Oh, this is so terrible. I hate this city and all the wankers who are ruining my happiness.”

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15. “I can’t even watch Crufts anymore.”

(Photo: Matt Cardy / Getty)
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17. “Right, fuck this, I’m moving to a farm and I’m going to own 50 dogs and they are all going to be my best friends and we are going to be happy forever.”

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18. *And breathe*

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19. You convince yourself that if you got a dog you would do more exercise.

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20. Which is clearly a massive lie.

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21. Because when all is said and done, to have one of these:

(Photo: Gary Gershoff / Getty for American Kennel Club)
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22. You need a lot of this.

sudeepuk / Via Flickr: sudeepuk
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23. And this.

Paramount Pictures / Via
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24. And so the sickening realisation sets in — as you’re still struggling to feed yourself, a pet really isn’t a viable option.

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25. Which is just heartbreaking.

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26. But one day you will own a pet and on that day you will find true happiness.

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Richard James is the UK news editor for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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