Nice list, well presented.
Nice list, well presented.
When I was 10 we had thanksgiving at my father’s cousin’s house, a table full of about 14 people. I took my gluttonous duties quite seriously (and the food was delicious), wolfing down the stacked piles on my plate with gusto. I had to respond to the call of the room of requirement, adjoined to the next room, and got up from the table. As soon as I closed the door I started the action of what I thought was going to be a burp but actually turned out to be vomit. I managed to aim at the toilet with accuracy, and the entire contents of my stomach launched into the porcelain bowl. I cleaned myself up and went back out to the dining room. As I was coolly making myself a new plate, my father’s cousin (who’s house we were in) asked me what just happened. I got as far as,”I’ve just had an inadvertant Roman experience. Have you ever heard of a vomitori-” when my response got shut down and conversation redirected.
I was driving to work, mid rush hour, one end of winter morning. Winter was very cold that year and produced a lot of potholes. Traffic was exceedingly slow, and the snow was melty. Melty enough to fill a pothole with dark slush that didn’t allow one to accurately gauge depth. Mid-chug of coffee I ran over the pothole which as it turned out was way deeper than thought. I started choking and immediately stomped the break and spit the coffee out, but alas it was too late. I passed out. When I awoke I didn’t think it was for a long time although that wave of traffic had left me behind. Luckily, my foot was still on the break. There was a Burger King next to me, so I pulled into it’s parking lot as I was discovering that both my bladder and bowels had evacuated during my brief bout with unconsciousness. I parked and got out of the car at a bright and sunny 7:30ish am and proceeded to walk into the BK, immediately seeking the washroom. There was a vagrant in there bathing in the sink, he had newspaper spread all over the floor. I quickly crossed the floor towards the stall, treading on the unavoidable sprawl of newsprint. I locked the stall and was about to start to do a damage assessment when the bum started pounding on the door griping about me walking on his newspaper. I’m a generally calm individual and very, very rarely raise my voice. I don’t remember precisely what I yelled but I remember starting with,”Hey, asshole…” and was something about having a really bad moment and not to mess with me and pick up his papers. Needless to say it sufficed as he left me alone. I called in to work and went home. I did a great job cleaning then steam cleaning the car upholstery.
Any else think of this with #3?
Anyone else think of this with #3?
Myopic iPhone owner…
I wonder what grade was received…
A Spell For Chameleon
Is #9 actually what it is or was there supposed to be something else?
Everyone’s got preferences. This list is not mine.
Amazingly stupid reaction all the way around to one of life’s finest things.
Wow, and my wife calls me crotchety…
It’s absolutely Buzzfeed’s fault. Super Spoiler headline.
In a pretty unpredictable series, no one knew if he would die in the end. Waiting to watch the last season and having it on dvr, now I find a large plot point was delivered directly to my inbox with absolutely no consideration whatsoever. Dick move.