lol

22 Signs You’re An Absolute Wino

“Excuse me, waiter? I’d like to order some wine to go with my wine please.”

1. This is your daily affirmation:

To go with your daily glass(es).

2. To you, the screw-cap bottle is the most genius invention EVER.

Because let’s face it…

3. When someone asks you what your wine preferences are, you’re like:

4. For example, the colour…

5. …or region.

NBC / Via uproxx.com

6. You’re not so fussed about glasses either.

7. Nothing is more annoying then when a waiter pours you a ‘tasting’ glass to check the wine you ordered.

POUR ME A PROPER GLASS AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THIS SHIT.

8. And why do people even bother asking you if you want wine?

DUH

9. In fact, wine is the only reason you even attend social gatherings.

10. It’s no surprise then, that you’re always the first one to get shit-faced.

Your friends: 4 vodka tonics. You: An entire bottle of Pinot. The odds were always against you.

11. But you’d rather get wasted than EVER be in this situation:

so. much. regret.

12. When anyone comes over, for any amount of time, you’re like

13. You’re even willing to share your “good stuff.”

Fox / Via wifflegif.com

14. You’re always hell-bent on converting non-wine drinkers.

 

15. You usually attempt to achieve this by championing the various health benefits.

16. But then you ruin it all by telling a wino anecdote that only a fellow wino would understand.

17. You think you look like this when you drink wine:

classy

18. But actually you look like this:

an idiot

19. Your relationship with wine is exactly that. A relationship.

MTV / Via pinterest.com

20. So naturally, wine gets the first invite to your pity parties.

whine and wine at my house wooooooot

21. You’re often guilty of committing this faux pas:

MIXING WIIIINE FOR A GOOD TIIIIME

22. But you’re no stranger to faux pas in general, and that’s OK.

A Wino of course.

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