1. This is your daily affirmation:
To go with your daily glass(es).
2. To you, the screw-cap bottle is the most genius invention EVER.
3. When someone asks you what your wine preferences are, you’re like:
7. Nothing is more annoying then when a waiter pours you a ‘tasting’ glass to check the wine you ordered.
POUR ME A PROPER GLASS AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THIS SHIT.
8. And why do people even bother asking you if you want wine?
9. In fact, wine is the only reason you even attend social gatherings.
10. It’s no surprise then, that you’re always the first one to get shit-faced.
Your friends: 4 vodka tonics. You: An entire bottle of Pinot. The odds were always against you.
11. But you’d rather get wasted than EVER be in this situation:
so. much. regret.
12. When anyone comes over, for any amount of time, you’re like
15. You usually attempt to achieve this by championing the various health benefits.
16. But then you ruin it all by telling a wino anecdote that only a fellow wino would understand.
18. But actually you look like this:
19. Your relationship with wine is exactly that. A relationship.
20. So naturally, wine gets the first invite to your pity parties.
whine and wine at my house wooooooot
21. You’re often guilty of committing this faux pas:
MIXING WIIIINE FOR A GOOD TIIIIME