It feels like the world is constantly telling women that if they find the perfect bra all their problems will be solved.
Last year Swiss lingerie company Triumph surveyed 10,000 women and found that 64% were apparently wearing the wrong bra size.
In light of such claims we – Flo and Remee – decided to go on a quest for our perfect bras.
Flo: I have never been measured. I started wearing a 32AA at age 14 and have gradually crawled up to a 34C. I find all bras slightly uncomfortable, and often throw caution to the wind by going braless. I was vaguely hoping that through this experience I'd find a bra I wouldn't know I was wearing and that would my boobs look like Kim K's.
Remee: I've been measured before – having big boobs, you need all the support you can get! I was initially measured as a 30G about five years ago, and I've been experimenting with variations ever since (mainly because it's hard to find a bra in that size that doesn't cost a million pounds). I was hoping to find something more comfortable, but you know, not "granny" comfortable. I already shop at Clarks, thanks.
Our first stop was Rigby & Peller, the poshest of the posh bra shops. This is where the actual Queen buys her undies.
Remee's puppies were the first to be put in a pen:
What size did they suggest you wear?
Remee: 34F as standard but 34E in the full-cup bra, and I could opt for a 32F in some other styles.
How did they measure you?
Remee: The fitter looked at the size of the bra I was already wearing and almost immediately decided that she wanted to try a 34E. It was some sort of witchcraft, I'm sure.
Did you like the bras?
Remee: They fitted me in a larger back, which I was actually not expecting since other places had always fitted me so tightly, so it was quite a liberating experience.
The nice lady put me in a bra that made me have actual rocket boobs! I was amazed by how great my knockers looked in such a good-quality, well-fitted bra. I also learnt that a balcony bra suited the shape of my boobs best (fuller on top and close together). Now I know why I look like a granny in some bras and an absolute sex goddess in others.
Next up, Flo's girls were assigned their seats:
What size did they suggest you wear?
Flo: 32D.
How did they measure you?
Flo: She just looked at my boobs, I didn't even tell her my size, and like a magical fairy godmother she told me I was a 32D.
Did you like the bras?
Flo: I had a sneaky suspicion that they were going to tell me my back size was too large. But I was pleasantly surprised that the new, tighter back size – down from 34 – didn't make me feel like I was wearing an anti-breathing device. I would have worn all the bras, out and about, no top required – especially the one with a Christmas decoration hanging from the front.
Next we tried John Lewis.
How did Remee's funbags fare this time?
What size did they suggest you wear?
Remee: 32G as standard, but for plunges with padding and other low-cut styles such as balcony, 32GG was advised.
How did they measure you:
Remee: A tape measure was brought out and she quickly measured my back. However, similar to the magical R&P lady, she pretty much glanced at my boobs and already had a starting point – 32G.
Did you like the bras:
Remee: The bra size I was given was more what I was expecting and had been used to, and the very first bra I was put in had an incredible fit. I was introduced to "side panels" for the first time, which I was told would stop my fuller, more fleshy ta-tas from dropping to the sides. It helped push my boobies forwards and inwards, making them look delicious (my words, unfortunately, not hers).
Would Flo's boobies be up to the challenge?
What size did they suggest you wear?
Flo: I tried on a 32D, a 32DD, a 30D, a 30DD, and a 30E. It was exhausting. The 32DD was actually the best fit in John Lewis.
How did they measure you?
Flo: She got out a tape measure which felt very proper. She then looked at my boobs and said I was a D. It was all very magical and confusing.
Did you like the bras?
Flo: I tried on a 32D in a lovely Calvin Klein bra, which gave me major quadruple boob. I tried on the same bra in a 32DD and it fit perfectly, I wanted to take it home and take selfies in it. I never thought I was a DD in a million years. I still don't believe it, DD is the size of a glamour model and not a pleb like me.
I tried on one bra in a 32D, a 30DD, and a 30E and all three were rather uncomfortable in different ways. I was told this bra was just not for me, and I agreed.
Lastly, we went for Marks & Spencer's new do-it-yourself option.
M&S has just launched the Bra Fitting Tool on its website, and it's also soon to be an app. So we thought we'd give it a go.
There are 12 questions you have to answer before M&S tells you which size it thinks you are:
You have to reveal your back size; the size, style, and brand of the bra you are currently wearing; whether your shoulders are narrow, medium, or broad; whether your cleavage is close together or far apart; whether you have a petite, medium, or full bust; how your cup size fits; how your underband fits; how the wires sit on the front and at the side; how your straps are; and, weirdly, your age.
That all sounds like a lot of work, but it takes probably five minutes max.
After using the Bra Fitting Tool, we went to M&S to get ourselves some new bras in the recommended sizes.
We chose matching ones. 👯
Did Remee manage to tame her beasts solo?
What size did they suggest you wear?
Remee: 34G.
Did you like the bras?
Remee: The system failed me. Also, the system was technically me, and I don't trust myself to do anything.
After going through the steps and feeling pretty confident about my answers, the app told me to try a 34G. This took me by surprise because both of the previous sizes I had been given fitted fine, so I was dubious about going up a cup size. The bra immediately felt too roomy, and the straps felt like they couldn't keep my rascal boobs in check. I'd bet money they'd pop out if I needed to run for a bus, or, you know, chase after a sandwich or something.
Did Flo's baps behave themselves?
What size did they suggest you wear?
Flo: 34C, my old friend.
Did you like the bras?
Flo: I was so excited to be finally given a 34 again. What luxury! Then oddly confused when it was way too big. My boobs felt sad in it, they were not being hugged, they felt like they might pop out underneath if I raised my arms too enthusiastically.
The problem with this fitting method is that some of the questions are kind of confusing. Like, if I scoop my boobs in and breathe in I have four-boob, but otherwise not. So what does this mean?????
😒
What we learned:
The main takeaway point is that no one is going to be the same size in every shop. So instead of putting your trust in one fitter and always buying that size of bra, try on a range of sizes whenever you buy a bra, and learn how to tell if a bra fits properly.
There are six key points to telling whether your bra fits, Rigby & Peller says:
1) The band gives you 80% of the support of the bra. It should sit flat all the way round your back – if it rides up at the back, it's the wrong size. You also need to be able to pull back the back slightly – there needs to be some flexibility because otherwise the bra will be too tight.
2) The cup should contain your full boob, and sit on your ribs not your breast tissue. If you push the end of the wire nearest your armpit and it bounces, then the cup is too small.
3) The middle section of your bra, known as the bridge, should sit flat against your body.
4) You should only have two boobs! Your boobs shouldn't be poking out over the top, round the side, or underneath, resulting in the dreaded four-boob.
5) Your straps shouldn't be too tight – you should be able to fit a finger under there. The support should come from the band rather than you carrying the weight of your boobs on your shoulders.
6) You should feel fabulous in the bra!
Rigby & Pellar also says that your average bra should last about a year, you should have a fitting every six months, and, worst of all, you should handwash all your bras.
Ladies, if you manage to do all this then we bow down to you. 🙇
~final thoughts~
Flo: Don't listen to the haters. If you feel good in your bra then it's probably the right bra for you. If you feel like your bra could be more comfortable, then go get a proper fitting – it's a fun process and it's the best way to learn how to tell if a bra fits.
I bought a 32D bra after this experience and have been wearing it, and my life hasn't really changed. I still want to get out of my bra as fast as physically possible when I get home, and I won't be throwing all my 34Cs away any time soon. But I do think that maybe my boobs look a little more "hello boys" in the 32D.
Remee: Being told I was three different sizes by three different places made me a little bit confused about my boobs to be honest, especially when two out of the three seemed to fit great. I guess what I learned is that I really need to get to know my boobs: what makes them happy and what makes them sad or, err...saggy.
The fitting consultants were really helpful and knew their stuff, but I guess different brands, different structures, and different materials do make a difference. I tell you what though, I'm glad they've all put me up a back size – whoever said I was a 30 back was clearly trying to kill me.
As it says on the wall in Rigby & Peller...
