You Know You’re A Finance Intern When…

Did I say “intern”? I meant Wall Street’s little bitch summer analyst.

1. You motivate yourself to get out of bed with the mantra “first in, last out.”

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2. And you find it hilarious* when your friends complain about their 9 a.m. jobs.

*Infuriating. Ridiculous. Inexcusable. Inexplicable. Really just fucking absurd.

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3. You’ve timed your commute down to the last second so you know exactly which subway car to get in.

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4. Because riding the infernal NYC subway in the summertime IN A SUIT is your version of hell.

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5. For most people, whiskey is an acquired taste. For you, it’s a required taste.

Comedy Central / Via
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6. And “golf” is just another word for “networking.”

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7. You’ve mastered the art of the seven-minute bathroom nap…

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8. But even then, you dream fitfully about mislabeling Excel sheets and subsequently getting fired.

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9. You can’t remember the last time you paid for your own dinner.

This is you at 8pm everyday.

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10. And you know exactly what you can get for $25 from every restaurant in a 2-mile radius.

Even though you’ve never actually been to any of them.

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11. Seriously, company-expensed meals have you bursting at the seams.

Rega Jha
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12. Speaking of seams, you look super fly 24/7.

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13. And, obviously, “Suit & Tie” is your summer anthem.

RCA / MTV / Via

The trading floor, of course.

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14. You’re the only one of your friends who carries around a Blackberry despite it being 2013.

(In addition to your black caseless iPhone 5.)

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15. And, although your every move is dictated by that blinking red light…

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16. It feels pretty badass to be a two-phones kinda kid.

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17. Speaking of phones, you’ve gotten pretty used to this:

Rega Jha
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18. Because:

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19. And, as a result, all your friends, family, and romantic prospects are acting kinda like this:

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20. Which is OK because you’re in an intense, exclusive, long-term relationship with your job.

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21. When your friends leave work at 6 p.m., you’re just about finishing up the first half of your workday.

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22. And when you leave work at midnight, you’re thrilled to be getting out “early.”

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23. You wish you could tell that company-expensed car service to drop you literally to your bed.

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24. Because reading this list just took up all five minutes of free time you had today.

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25. But at the end of the day, you go harder than anyone else you know.

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26. So take one quick second to pat yourself on the back.

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27. Now get back to work, buddy. The financial sector isn’t gonna run itself.

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Rega Jha is the editor of BuzzFeed India and is based in Mumbai.
Contact Rega Jha at

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