This Guy’s Live-Tweets Of His Neighbor’s Breakup Are Hilarious And Heartbreaking

“Are we getting pizza or what? I don’t mean to change the subject, but are we?”

1. According to New York City writer-comedian Kyle Ayers, he was hanging out on his Brooklyn rooftop when a couple arrived on said roof and began breaking up.

2. Kyle did what any sane human would do, given the circumstances. He live-tweeted their breakup.

3. There’s an entire subplot devoted to “Girl” wanting to move in with “Guy.”

6. There’s some wonderful meta commentary.

7. And some common communication flaws.

8. There’s some good old-fashioned incoherence.

9. And some real self-reflection.

11. There’s a great “text from my co-worker” subplot.

14. And the standard “I just sometimes want to hang out with my friends” issue, familiar to anyone in a relationship.

16. There’s a precise tally of lies…

17. And this common frustration.

18. Oh, right. Back to the cohabitation subplot.

20. At this point, Rachel probably called “Guy” immature because:

21. And we can only assume that, affected by the mid-November New York chills, Rachel was shivering because:

22. More incoherence. Classic Rachel.

23. Meanwhile this dude is stress-smoking like crazy.

24. Both parties are demanding answers now.

26. But Guy is a seasoned expert at beating around the bush.

28. More answers demanded!

29. More bushes beat around!

31. The couple’s astute powers of observation lead them to notice their live-tweeter.

36. Oh, yeah! Almost forgot about the pesky texting coworker!

38. All the heartbreak has Guy feeling a little peckish.

40. +10 points to Rachel.

45. As she walks away, our beloved Rachel is incoherent one final time.

48. (Probably texting that coworker, right?)

50. Thank you, Kyle, Rachel, and Guy, for this truly moving tale of love, loss, and pizza.

51. Although the series of events is unconfirmed by any additional sources, the entire saga is saved for posterity on Kyle’s blog. You can also follow him on Twitter here.

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