1. You can't own carpets unless you have two hours free every night to vacuum hairballs.
2. You can't predict how your hair is going to look. All you can do is shower and keep your fingers crossed.
3. You can't brush your hair unless you're willing to rock some serious frizz...and break the brush.
4. You can't walk around in rain or snow unless you're ready to spend the rest of the day looking like Marge Simpson.
5. You can't wear hats or hoodies because they either flatten your incorrigible locks...
6. Or they straight-up don't fit.
7. You can't get your hair cut at cheap, generic hair salons. Only experts can handle your situation.
8. You can't wear cute hair accessories because you're always losing them. In your hair.
9. And if you happen to find them, they certainly won't be in one piece.
10. Can't be the little spoon unless you want to suffocate the big spoon to death.
11. You can wear earrings but good luck getting anyone to notice.
12. You can't straighten your hair in any less than an hour.
13. You can't run your hands through your hair without getting stuck and ruining everything.
14. Wanna save money by skipping conditioner? Can't. Also, while you're out, grab some mousse, some gel, some serum, and a diffuser.
15. You can't get your friends to stop playing with your hair...
16. And, more annoyingly, you can't get strangers to stop trying. Seriously. Stop. No. I hate you.
17. You can't figure out what to say when people ask you if you got a perm.
18. You can't see pictures of "naturally curly hair" without wanting to throw your computer away.
19. Can't sleep on it wet. Can't sleep on it up. Can't sleep on it down. Can't sleep.
20. "I'm just gonna take a quick shower!" —Not You, Ever
21. Can't figure out how you have so much hair on your head when you just saw all of it on your shower walls.
22. Can't live or visit anywhere with above average humidity. Beach vacay? Haha, no.
23. Can't stop finding weird shit in your head-nest at the end of the day.
24. You can grow your hair for years, but you can never increase its length. It will get bigger, wider, taller, and more triangular. Never longer.
25. You can never let yourself seen immediately after a shower. Sorry, pal, bye.
26. You can't feel any nostalgia when you see old photos. You're too distracted by how bad you were at handling your mane.
27. You can never make last-minute plans.
28. Of course you can't complain about your hair without being told how lucky you are to have it.
29. Which is fine because, more than anything, you wouldn't be yourself any other way.
