1. You have the most bizarre leg tan of all time.
2. And permanent ponytail hair.
3. You're wayyy more comfortable in cleats than in heels.
4. The day you learned chesting was the worst day of your life.
5. The only thing worse is getting hit in the boobs WITHOUT intending to.
6. "Conditioning" isn't a hair procedure to you. It's a torture mechanism.
7. Having to grit your teeth and say, "Good game, good game, good game, good game..."
8. You've had some funky patterned bruises and imprints.
9. Two words: Shin splints.
10. Neglecting all your friends and family because you'd rather be with your team.
11. Pants fit your waist, hips, and calves just right, but are tight on your disproportionally muscular thighs.
12. The fact that nobody ever wants to watch women's soccer with you, and the dudes get all the attention.
13. You spend more time in breath-restricting soul-sucking sports bras than in normal ones.
14. Heading the ball messes up your hair, which then gets in your face.
15. This:
16. Your wrist is permanently indented from hair ties.
17. Getting a pedicure = So necessary + So embarrassing.
18. And, if you're a goalie, getting a manicure is completely futile.
19. Soccer season is only a few months, but those slide-tackle scars on your knees last forever.
20. When you wear cute dresses and skirts, you're self conscious about your calf muscles.
21. And cute spring clothing = exposing your beautiful upper arm farmers' tan.
22. And the biggest struggle of all: Dealing with stupid boys who think they're better than you...
23. Not realizing that "You kick like a girl" is the biggest compliment anyone can ever receive.
