1. When your friends make fun impromptu plans and you can’t go because you’re on duty.
2. When you’re about to fall asleep and the duty phone rings.
3. The palpable awkwardness when someone knocks on your door at 3 a.m., wearing nothing but a towel, asking for a condom.
4. When your bulletin board is due in an hour and you haven’t started.
5. And the night before the semester starts, when you’re running around like a mad person, putting up door tags…
6. Knowing that some wasted sophomore is gonna rip them all down in two days anyway.
7. Going on rounds and trying to figure out where the faint smell of weed is coming from.
8. Having to explain to your residents why they can’t write racist jokes on one anothers’ doors.
9. And cringing when you hear your friends, family, professors, etc. talk using microaggressions that you know aren’t OK.
10. When someone with bloodshot eyes, a towel by the door, and a bong in their hand tells you they haven’t been smoking.
11. Trying to reason with your wasted residents, who really truly believe they need to pass out in the hallway.
12. The self-loathing that comes with policing other people for doing things that you definitely do yourself.
14. Being on first-name basis with paramedics and Public Safety and reevaluating your whole life.
15. Being woken up in the middle of the night once every week because someone locked themselves out.
16. When you deal with a crazy incident and want to tell your friends the story but are sworn to secrecy.
17. Fire alarms scare you for all the wrong reasons.
You aren’t afraid of fire, you’re afraid of filing an incident report after.