1. Auto-rickshaws are your hair's mortal enemy.
2. It can't handle the sweat and humidity of the summer.
3. But anything is better than the soggy, curl-hating, frizz-fostering hell that is monsoon.
4. Family gatherings are just an onslaught of people you've never met before commenting on your "bikhre baal."
5. Like, if you let each of them ask you one question, they would ALL ask: "Why don't you straighten it?"
6. You grew up being called Sai Baba and Lasith Malinga.
7. And being compared with Maggi noodles.
8. And that dude from the Center Shock ads.
9. You spent half your life running away from your comb-wielding mom.
10. And the other half running from your Parachute hair oil-wielding nani.
11. Thanks to Bollywood's obsessions with shiny, straight hair, you grew up thinking you're a complete freak.
12. And whenever Bollywood did feature curls, they looked nothing like yours.
13. The lack of curly rolemodels means it took you until very late in your life to figure out how to wear your hair.
14. If your school required you to tie up or braid your hair, you looked completely insane by the end of the day.
15. Mostly thanks to that hair-loathing P.T. period.
16. You attempted using pins to keep things civilised, but even an army of bobbies is defenseless against your tresses.
17. Eventually your mom got sick of you coming home looking like a badrakali, and gave you a boy cut.
18. Which means only one thing: Accidental afro!
19. If there was any hint of a lice outbreak at school, you were filled with dread.
20. And if you ever caught any, you were in for a month of awful tiny combs and terrifying poisonous shampoos.
21. You've shed a looot of hair at the hands of your well-meaning elders trying to remove knots.
22. Hats, veils, ghoonghats, caps – all off limits.
23. Also all those cute clips and accessories that were all the rage growing up – not for you.
24. And when all your shiny-haired classmates were braiding little sections of their hair – nope.
25. Your bad hair days are really, really bad. Bad enough to cancel all plans and stay home until they pass.
26. But all the trauma is worth it every time someone says, "I wish I had hair like yours."
27. Because, it's true, you grew up to be a sexy adult and when your hair is on your side, you're unbeatable.
