1.
You have their "Where are you going? Who are you going with? When will you be back? What will you eat? Who's driving?" speech memorized.
2.
The phrase "hook up" means something totally different to them than it does to you.
3.
If they're on an international phone call, they speak 100 decibels louder than usual. Nobody knows why.
4.
They speak fondly of their first car, a Maruti 800.
5.
They raised you to believe that physical strength comes from doodh and Chyawanprash.
6.
No matter how successful you are, they know someone whose kid has a higher SAT score, better salary, or more attractive significant other than you.
7.
Of all the pressures placed on you, none is more serious than to eat, beta, eat.
8.
And the most serious threat you could incur was a chappal or juti thrashing.
9.
When they try to insult you, they end up insulting themselves.
10.
Their dance moves are truly unique.
11.
And all it takes is one Black Label for dad (and one glass of wine for mom) to bust them out unselfconsciously.
12.
Much to your mortification, they are shameless bargainers.
13.
They consider themselves certified doctors, even if they've never set foot in med school.
14.
Their love for you is inversely proportional to the acceptance rate of the college you get into.
15.
One of their highest priorities is keeping you out of the sun.
16.
Chai is consumed more frequently at your home than water.
17.
They've made you touch the feet of people you've literally never met before in your life.
18.
Because they're constantly introducing you to thousands of relatives that you didn't even know existed.
19.
Everything you wear is too scandalous for their sanskari desi eyes.
20.
They are experts in the fine art of gupshup.
21.
They take great pride in showing you their childhood haunts every time you visit.
22.
You kept your first five significant others secret from them, and they were nice enough to fall for your lies.
23.
One of their special skills is to bust out old school Bollywood tunes at the top of their lungs, when you least expect it.
24.
Despite how much fun you make of them, you know they've got your back if anyone tries to take panga with you.
25.
And that no matter how far you go, you'll always be their little raja/rani.
