1. No more homework, which means that once you’re off work, you’re really off work.
3. No more spending trillions of dollars on tuition every few months.
4. Or on textbooks, for that matter.
Sure, groceries and cable are things you pay for now, but at least you actually use those.
5. Your social life is no longer reliant on you eating crappy dining hall food.
6. You can do all the illicit activities you want, without the threat of an RA shutting you down.
I mean, within reason… The law still does exist.
7. Your email inbox is finally free of all those useless listservs you were signed up for.
Dance Dance Revolution club scheduling emails, ta-ta, see you never!
8. You no longer have to keep running into your exes and former hook-ups every single day.
Praise the lord.
9. You spend your time at real bars, meeting real people, instead of always ending up at the same campus dive.
Where you were on first-name basis with everyone, including the bouncer and bartender.
10. The fire alarms in your new digs don’t go off every night because of neglectful stoners.
And/or amateur chefs.
12. You don’t have to pack up your entire room and move every summer.
13. You get a normal amount of sleep because you don’t stay up all night procrastinating.
14. Your neighborhood doesn’t get overrun by 17-year-olds every fall.
Take your lanyards off and live a little, children!
16. Communal bathrooms. Never again.
17. Remember when one kid on your floor got the flu and two days later everyone was sick? Yeah, no.
Happy personal space!
18. Your FOMO magically goes away and you become capable of giving yourself me-time.
20. Freshman Fifteen? Sophomore Still-Packing-On-The-Pounds? Junior Giant? The real world is considerably healthier than college.
21. Because, for one thing, you don’t get bombarded by free pizza everywhere you go.
22. No more being woken up by drunk dudes running down your hallway at 5am.
23. And best of all: People take you seriously because you aren’t just a kid in school anymore.
You’re an adult, dammit! Revel in your adultness!
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