1.
"There are no words to describe the challenges of marriage. There are, however, a few impolite gestures."
2.
"Give relatives gifts that you really want for yourself, because they're going to find their way back to you eventually."
3.
"In order to be insulted, you must first value your insulter's opinion."
4.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone."
5.
"You'll go far in life if you learn this well: Honesty is a virtue, but no one wants to hear the truth."
6.
"Nobody ever really grows up. They just learn how to behave in public."
7.
"It's not an argument if I'm explaining to you why I am correct."
8.
"'Sorry' isn't it a verb; don't expect it to fix things for you."
9.
"There is no ailment that food cannot cure."
10.
"God invented sarcasm so women and men could better communicate."
11.
"And lastly: Life is a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. So don't waste it."
Think you know better than Granny? Well, there’s your first problem. Stop thinking.
