This is so legit it got its own livejournal. Wow.

People are actually trying to explain this lol, guys - you aren't REALLY going to get a gold star… this stuff is clouded in jargon for a reason, the same reason that car maintenance is also clouded in jargon, and accountancy, and hairdressing (to an extent) also, it's so that people who don't know how it's done will pay other people who do know how it's done to do the work for them, without explaining.
Just for the (A) record - all the above attempts to explain are hideously wrong in certain respects of their analogies, but I'm not going to tell you why, enjoy your continuing confusion.

I will happily admit I have no idea what the hell he is talking about. In fact I have no idea what the simplified versions on this site are talking about either.
He also seems to have the solution for Global Warming and I'm not sure what a Cygnet is although it looks adorable. I do hope that the people who do know what he is talking about band together and fix this terrible crisis because I lost all my money in Bank Of America stock and my house is up for foreclosure. So I can't really be bothered to FUCKING GIVE A SHIT IF IPV4 OR IPV6 OR THE GLOBAL TRAFFIC MANAGER WILL BREAK THE INTERWEBS SINCE I ONLY COME HERE TO WATCH PARIS HILTON NIPPLE SLIP VIDEOS AND FIND NEW USES FOR ARETHA'S HAT. THANK YOU.

wow. the internet was born the same year i was. it all makes so much sense…

I'm okay with the possibility of not having the internet.

The tubes are full. And mislabeled.

It's like you've got a grocery store with three checkout lanes open. Each lane winds up with a line about the same length. Suddenly, one lane has a line twice as long as the rest. Turns out it's because the doughnuts display is right next to lane one. You're screwed because no matter how many lanes you open, people just keep getting in the line next to the doughnuts. In this case, Windows Vista is a lazy person who likes doughnuts and won't move over to lane two, and the grocery store is like a series of tubes.

Uber simplified: Lets say that I live on the 5th floor of my building in Detroit and I want to go to a particular store. We hop into our fancy flying cab with our driver Mr. VISTA and we say “to the Google store fine sir”. He's like ok, there are three around according to the phone book. One down the block on the 15th floor of the building, one an hour away on 9th floor and one in Chicago on the 5th floor. Vista is going to want to take you to Chicago because it's also on the 5th floor and therefore must be closer. This is really only a problem for major stores with more than one location and who decide not to give out directions on how to get to the nearest location.