45 Signs You’re Living Your Life Like A “Real Housewife”

Break out the Pinot! On Mar. 23, we’ll be celebrating the first ladies of Bravo with the first ever Real Housewives Awards! And if you live your life like a Real Housewife… then this is basically like choosing your president. Go on girl and cast your ballot today!

1. You believe honesty is the best policy, even when it hurts.

 

2. Your lot in life is that you make everyone around you look basic by association.

3. Every woman wants to BE you.

4. And every man wants to be WITH you.

5. You know how to get any man you want.

6. You know the only legitimate reason to waste good wine is on a better fight.

7. But you’re a lady, so you might help with the cleanup.

8. You pray to the wig gods for guidance and protection. Amen.

9. And you always count your blessings.

 

10. And when you do sin (which is like… never) it’s for a higher cause.

 

11. You have a discerning eye for the finer things in life.

 

12. You know that “moderation” is something basic people invented for their own benefit.

13. Having nice things puts things in perspective for you.

14. But even as fabulous as you are, you still know how to get real…

15. …and how to appreciate the simple pleasures of life.

 

16. You often find yourself longing for a simpler time.

17. No matter where you are, you expect your standards to be met…

 

18. …and for everyone to abide by them.

 

19. You’re not one for dramatics.

20. But you’ve made a few grand entrances in your day…

21. …and even more spectacular exits.

22. You love to socialize. It’s just one of those things you’re good at.

23. And you keep fabulous company.

24. You’re the first person anyone calls when they have a piece of hot gossip.

25. You open the door when opportunity comes knocking. Unless that opportunity is a shady bitch, and then you shut that door in its busted face.

 

26. You know how exhausting it is to be fabulous.

27. Being this real can really take its toll on you.

28. So you have your priorities in check.

29. Your time is precious and cannot be wasted on the mundane.

30. Like your purses, you’re not good at being fake.

31. There aren’t enough wine glasses in a day for you to deal with people’s excuses.

32. You’re a generous soul that cares about the well-being of others.

33. Yeah. Like, really generous.

34. Sympathy just comes naturally to you.

 

35. So you share your wise words of comfort with those closest to you.

36. You’re accomplished, and everybody should know it. Even this guy.

37. You’ve won gold, silver, and bronze at the eye-roll Olympics.

38. You’ve cracked the code of eternal youth.

 

39. Your knowledge of the solar system is vast.

41. You know you’re entitled to certain things.

42. The party starts when you want it to start…

43. …and ends when you’re ready to go.

44. Most importantly, you know that being a Real Housewife doesn’t come with money, it’s something you’re born with, baby.

45. Basically, you’re royalty.

See who’s nominated for the Real Housewives Awards and cast your ballot today!

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