13 Reasons Goats Will Take Over The World

Goats are nature's most fearless and evolved creatures. If they wanted to be, goats could easily make their way to the top of the food chain.

NO, THIS IS NOT THE EYE OF HELL.

This is the eye of a goat. And it's the most badass eye available to a mammal in nature. The horizontal slits give goats 340 degrees of vision. You have at most 210 degrees of vision. Pansy.

It's not a tumor.

Goat Ball Stew / Via goatballstew.blogspot.com

This is the largest pair of testicles you will ever see. Not only that but they are also the tastiest. Many cultures consider "cowboy caviar" or "swinging beef" a delicacy. Goat ball stew can be made with this recipe

Ingredients:
Pair of goat testicles
Natural salt water. (If you don't have access, heavily salted water will do)
Onion
Several chili peppers
Celery
Potatoes
Margerine
Brussel sprouts

1. Get a pair of goat-testicles. ( if not elsewhere, available in Greece and at any large farm)
2. Boil the testicles in natural saltwater.
3. Throw a few onions, a bunch of chile peppars and some celery in the in the pot. Let it boil for approximately 1 hour or two.
4. Boil some potatoes in natural saltwater.
5. Mash the potatoes with some juice from the stew, and a cup of margarine.
6. Fry some Brussels sprouts.
7. Serve

See the full recipe by clicking above.

God?

No, it's not God. This is the goat's idea of a quick lunch. Goats have been known to make their homes in altitudes above 13,000 feet. That's about half the heigh of Mt. Everest, which means they could live anywhere on Earth.

Yes this goat can read. Because they're smart.

That Latin word "capra" for goat is the root of the word "capricious" which means "Characterized by or subject to whim; impulsive and unpredictable." Even in old times they knew how smart and unpredictable goats really were. The largest expense for any goat farmer in fact is keeping the goats in.

No, these goats aren't dead.

These goats are surviving. When the fainting goat is startled they will freeze for 10 seconds and collapse. When it comes to playing dead to survive, these goats are the best. In fact they were genetically evolved to do so.

Goats were good enough for Thor

Via en.wikipedia.org

This is Thor. Being pulled by goats. According to Norse mythology Thor the God of Thunder rides in a chariot that is pulled by goats named Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr. In the Marvel Comics adaptation of the god, Thor usually relies on his hammer to fly. However in situations where he must transport passengers and/or objects, Thor can summon Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr who arrive already harnessed to his chariot, and can be dismissed with equal ease.[

Egyptians loved the goats

In Greece, Italy, and Egypt, the goat was worshipped in both goat form and phallic form (Neave 1988, p. 8). This type of worship has sometimes been said to have originated from the goat’s increased sex drive.

Goats are pretty chill stoners.

Goats getting high.

HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS!

Goat hooves have soft pads that help with traction. The pads are also hollowed so they act like suction cups when on steep cliffs. The edges of the hooves are hard for digging into rocks or ice. And you thought your feet were great . . . do you have suction cups?

Yes this is a goat eating a ribbon.

And it's the tastiest ribbon that you'll never eat. Goats have 4 chambers in their stomachs to help with digestion. While goats are known of being scavengers and eating tin cans that was never the case. Their fascination with cans is due to the smell of glue that used to be on the wrapping.

They sound better than Taylor Swift.

Goats have mastered black magic.

Goats are here to stay . . .

There are over 210 breeds and 450 million goats around the world. And many of them are in places that humans simply can't reach. They can eat and climb anything they want. Goats are here to stay and simply put all other animals to shame.