• 1. Oasis - Wonderwall

    Lyrics can’t get much stupider than “All the roads we have to walk are winding.” Plus the singer sounds like a gurgling frog verging upon death when he sings the monotonous chorus that is one note repeated over and over in astounding obnoxiousness.

  • 2. The Killers - Mr. Brightside

    Plagiarism doesn’t get any worse than using the most famous melody of all time - Beethoven’s theme from Ode to Joy - as the guitar solo. The stupid rhyme where he’s says “Now She’s touching his…” but doesn’t say “dick” is purely retarded.

  • 3. Pink - Rockstar

    The song is obviously an attempt to to copy Gwen Stefani’s “Rich Girl.” And why does Pink think we care about her husband and her rock moves? Plus, she’s not even a rock star. She’s a pop star.

  • 4. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl

    Pure Dogshit. It postures like its Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life,” but really comes of as an orange juice commercial. If he sang about orange juice, the song would be better.

  • 5. Eric Clapton - Layla

    The guitar riff isn’t all that bad. However, one the verse begins were in the realm of pure awful. Clapton is 100% honkey, and his tortured attempt to sing in a “bluesy” style fails miserably.

  • 6. Maroon 5 - And She Will Be Loved

    This music is a total disaster. The band attempts to fuse funkiness and coldplay. It’s an existential disaster. Plus, the chord progression is a rip off of Cheap Trick’s “The Flame.”

  • 7. Train - Hey Soul Sister

    This band of total douchebags made a ukulele version of Black Eyed Peas “Where is the Love,” and thought they had changed the world.

  • 8. John Mayer - Waiting for the World to Change

    Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” is an amazing and timeless classic… Why did you do this to it?

  • 9. All American Rejects - Gives You Hell

    Weezer + Train. A bad idea from the get go.

  • 10. Seal - Kiss From a Rose

    Seal is a likable guy. And much of is music is o.k. And this song wouldn’t be that bad had he not sung “my power, my pleasure, my pain.”

  • 11. Aerosmith - I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing

    For a band this talented to make such a generic peace of shit is a real sin against nature.

  • 12. Plain White T’s - Hey There Delilah

    This would be a really good song for a 6th grade talent show… but the fact that it became a huge hit propels into the realm of horrible. But these guys have hope. They know how to craft a good melody and a dynamic tune.

  • 13. Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

    I’m the only one and I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone. Green Day is a train wreck of wasted opportunity. They hit a sweet spot with Dookie, then they decided to become the next Oasis.

  • 14. Paula Cole - Where Have All the Cowboys Gone

    Yippee Yo Yippe Yea!

  • 15. The Verve Pipe - The Freshman

  • 16. Nickelback - How You Remind Me

    These guys give it a good try. But they are just bad. No big foul.

  • 17. Soundgarden - Spoonman

    Chris Cornell has a good voice… but it’s painfully decontextual in this tune. And the whole concept just doesn’t make sense. How can the spoonman come together with his hands to save me? Really? It’s just nuts. And the intensity of the the odd time signature just make the failure of the lyrical content more glaring.

  • 18. Ke$ha featuring 3OH!3 - Blah Blah Blah

    This song would be just bad, but what makes it awful is the contribution of 3OH!3. What the f are those guys doing? Is that a rap?

  • 19. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out

    Verse = lame Strokes copy.
    Chorus = lame Modest Mouse copy. Wow! We can copy 2 bands with a tempo change in between the copying!

  • 20. Metallica - Enter Sandman

    Not Spooky. Disney’s Peter Pan movie rocks harder. This is the low point in Metallica’s career.