Pre-Paid Poo Preparedness Service To Address Post-Earthquake Sanitation

This shit is real, ya’ll. Scientists agree that the odds are 1-in-3 that a huge earthquake will hit Northwest in next 50 years. The service we are providing is not insurance – it’s assurance. Reserve a pre-paid poo solution for delivery within 100 hours of any massive earthquakes to our customer base.

Pre-Paid Poo Preparedness Service To Address Post-Earthquake Sanitation


Oregon State University professor Chris Goldfinger is convinced that the Pacific Northwest is at risk for an earthquake that could meet – or exceed – the power of seismic events that took place in Chile, as well as Haiti.

Why does this matter?

After the devastating earthquake in Haiti, cases of cholera, diarrhea, colds, coughs, and general infectious diseases increased due to toilet and sanitation system breakdowns. The service we are providing is not insurance – it’s assurance.

Sanitation destruction in Haiti.

For $69.95, the company will set up an ongoing worm bin for your family, and deliver it via bicycle within 100 hours of any massive earthquakes to their customer base.

The Earthquake Assurance Kit comes with 100 biodegradable bags, a containment unit, and a pound or more of red wiggler worms. This system is designed to:

- Allow you to use your existing toilet / bathroom for privacy when water & flushing systems are shut down

- Redirect human manure to biodegradable containment bags which are deposited in the provided bin, and covered to prevent odors

- Benefit from turning a waste into healthy soil via manure-composting worms

This system will allow your family to have one of your most basic needs taken care of for you in the event of a catastrophic emergency, and will create jobs for a fleet of bicycle-delivery teams ready-to-go when the big one hits. It’s a small price to pay for your continued health and well being.

What do you think of this… er, shit?

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