3. “F%$& censorship! Yeah, suck on that FCC.”
I reserve the right to censor myself.
4. “I guess it’s back to paying trolls to get to where we need to go.”
7. “If there’s no animal control, then now is the perfect time to free all the animals at the zoo.”
Or maybe just the petting zoo.
8. “No government means no war, right?”
Oh wait. That’s actually live footage from Congress.
9. “I’m definitely not coming to a full stop at that pointless stop sign.”
13. “Superheroes will have to show themselves since there is no one else to protect us…”
14. “…which hopefully won’t affect the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D budget at all.”
“What do you mean they’re fictional?”
15. “Me and Mom can talk about ANYTHING now that Big Brother isn’t listening.”
16. “Avast! The pirate takeover is imminent.”
I’d follow this man to the ends of the earth.