Form Of Bondage In Which A Human Is Used (Or Incorporated Into) A Piece Of Furniture. Examples Include: Human Drafting Tables, Human Lazy Suzanns, And Human Shelving (Ikeaphilia anyone?).


    The Process Of Making A Hole In One’s Pocket In Order to Facilitate Public Masturbation (“You wash those pants before I put them in the laundry!”).


    Arousal Contingent Upon The Submersion Of One’s Genitals In Liquid. I’m staying out of public swimming pools from now on.


    Arousal due to witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents (as seen in the movie Crash )


    Sexual interest in trees. Hippy Pervs.


    Rubbing against a non-consenting person to facilitate sexual stimulation- otherwise known as ‘Riding The Bus/Subway’.


    Sexual pleasure derived from [the thought of] tearing out sexual organs by the roots. Pedophiles- you are Strongly Encouraged to develop this fetish and then follow through with it. Go on- rip it out by the roots, we’ll wait.


    Sexual pleasure related to mucus (e.g. the consumption of). You would’ve been in Heaven here when I had the flu. I was a mucus factory. On second thought- Fucking EW!!!!

  • 9. AUTONEPIOPHILIA ( Infantalism)

    Sexual pleasure derived from dressing as (or imagining oneself as) an infant. Ladies- use your own ‘men’ jokes here. It’s just too easy.


    Sexual preference for the elderly (uh-ya… particularly the filthy rich ones, right?).


    Fetish Involving the soiling or dirtying of one’s desire, usually an attractive person. Ok, ya’ll need some diapers from the Autonepiophiliacs.

  • 12. URSUSAGALMATOPHILIA (Plushophilia)

    Sexual interest in teddy bears. Stay the fuck away from my teddy!


    APTEMNOPHILIA= Being aroused and/or excited by amputees. This could be a win/win situation, I guess. APOTEMNOPHILIA= erotic interest in being or looking like an amputee. WTF? Seriously- you know that’s fucked up, right?


    Sexual interest in being crawled upon or bitten by small insects. Itchy…Itchy-Itchy-Itchy!!!!


    Vorarephilic Fantasies commonly revolve around devouring others whole, or being swallowed whole by a mate (remember Armin Meiwes? Read his story HERE )


    Sexual pleasure derived from inflicting pain on animals, or seeing them in pain. Basically- they’re assholes who NEED to die Immediately. Preferrably as painfully as possible. Then spend Eternity in Hell being raped by the biggest demon imaginable.


    Fetish involving statues, mannequins, and immobility. No Uncle Bob- this doesn’t include Auntie May. Ya…har har har. Ugh.


    Sexual attraction to cars or other machines. Basically- men and their cars. Enough said.


    Sex with a bird. That’s just fowl!

  • 20. OCULOLINCTUS (Worming)

    Erotic pleasure stemming from the licking of someone’s eyeball. What? How do you even? Wha? How would you even go there in the first place?!


    Arousal is contingent on contact with extremely cold objects or watching others freeze. This is Nothing like when someone just enjoys chewing ice cubes. I’m just sayin’- for someone else….


    Sexual attraction to religious or sacred objects (e.g. masturbation with a cross). See The Exorcist .


    A sexual perversion in which the necessary condition is that a catheter or other foreign body (e.g. swizzle stick, garter snake) be inserted in the urethra. Uh- good luck with that.

  • 24. Menophilia

    A person with menophilia gets sexually excited at the sight, smell or taste of a menstruating woman. Bloody sick if you ask me.

  • 25. Crush

    A crush fetish is when one becomes sexually aroused when usually someone of the opposite sex crushes objects, food and sometimes small animals or insects with/under their foot. Bizarre- right?

  • 26. Dacryphilia

    When one is aroused by tears or sobbing. In other words- an asshole.

  • 27. Emetophilia

    When someone is aroused by vomiting or observing others vomit(When emetophiles put emetophilia into practice by actually vomiting, especially on a partner, it is called a Roman shower, after the supposed (but mistaken) belief in the frequent induction of vomiting at Roman feasts). I presume they hang out in bars and colleges.

  • 28. Necrophilia

    The sexual attraction to corpses. Gee- I wonder if they seek employment within the undertaker/morgue fields?

  • 29. Klismaphilia

    Sexual arousal from introducing liquids into the rectum and colon via the anus (for example: enemas). I get the feeling adult diapers feature prominently in myriad fetishes….

  • 30. Furries

    Furries are people who dress up in animal costumes and take on the persona of that animal. Sometimes full-on sex occurs, but often two or more furries engage in a behavior called “yiffing” (dry-humping or other sexualized interactions). Would saying, “Get Stuffed” be considered an insult or a compliment, I wonder?

  • 31. Beastiality

    People who have sex with real live animals. I won’t even mention farm boys and cows. My willpower astounds me.

  • 32. Eproctophilia

    The sexual attraction to human flatulence, mainly heterosexual males attracted to female flatulence. This is a thing? Really? I just can’t see it. Must be a Dominatrix thing. In that case- You Go Girl!

  • 33. Panicophilia