1. Blonde Cornrows
Blonde Cornrows: They’re what happens when you can’t choose between Ludacris and Zack Morris as your childhood idol.
2. Bowl Cuts
Bowl Cuts: Unfortunately, just don’t age well, despite their geometric innovation. Even Tom Brady, at the height of his power, couldn’t pull one off.
2. 3. Frosted Tips
Frosted Tips: A technique that works much better on Wheaties than it does on humans.
3. 4. The Jonathan Taylor Thomas (The JTT)
The JTT: A swooping-bangs hairstyle that can only be worn by Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Justin Bieber will probably try to pull off the JTT in the next few years, but will he have the courage and patience to make it stick?
4. 5. Hair Beads
Hair Beads: Has anyone ever looked happier than the girls in the hair beads infomercials? They look like someone just told them that school is cancelled forever and Selena Gomez wants to be their new best friend. Just don’t let their happiness trick you into wearing hair beads to a job interview. You’ll turn around too fast and accidentally blind your potential employer with a whip of the hair. Awkward.
5. 6. Ramen Noodle Hair
Ramen Noodle Hair: Justin Timberlake set a dangerous precedent for curly-haired boys everywhere with this look. On a related note, why is it so much less creepy when Justin Timberlake carries around a puppet of himself everywhere?
6. 7. Pigtails
Pigtails: Damn you, Britney, for making us all think we could pull pigtails off.
7. 8. Mall Bangs
Mall Bangs: A golden age of teen movies in the late ’80s and early ’90s brought true glory to mall bangs. Even today, your mind may say no to mall bangs, but your heart says yes.
8. 9. The Mullet
The Mullet: When we were growing up, there were mullets everywhere, and adults simply didn’t do a very good job of warning us about them. In the early years of Full House, Uncle Jesse tricked millions of kids into thinking that women will love you if you grow a mullet, play the guitar, and develop an Elvis fetish. Dangerous stuff.
9. 10. The Gel Flip
The Gel Flip: New proposal: Males shouldn’t be allowed to buy hair gel until they turn 18. Hair gel is far too potent of a product for 12-year-old boys to handle, and the end result is usually a crusty, over-gelled hair flip. Before you know it, they’re hooked on hair gel, and it becomes all they know. It’s time for us to break the cycle.