10 Signs You're A Nap Enthusiast

Napping: it's like time-travel, but without pants. Don't let the haters stop you from doin' your thang! (Especially when 'your thang' is kicking ass and taking naps.)

1. Your 'bed' is a nest of blankets, clothing, and snacks.

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What’s the point of making your bed when you’re probably just going to get back in it within the next hour and a half?

2. When you go MIA, your loved ones just assume that you fell asleep.

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Seriously, if you got kidnapped, it would take them weeks to realize it. This is in part because you frequently pretend to be asleep to avoid human interaction. While doing this, you often will actually fall asleep and wake up hours later, hungry and vaguely disoriented. (Actually, 'hungry and vaguely disoriented' is probably your resting state.)

3. You're not narcoleptic, you're adaptable!

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You evaluate every surface you encounter based on how comfortable of a napping area it would make. Your standards for this will rapidly decrease based on your level of exhaustion and/ or inebriation. There may or may not be collages floating around Facebook of you starfishing in weird places. You refuse to conform to society's expectations, and you should be proud of that!

4. Nap hard, nap often.

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When people ask you what your plans are on any given day, your response is likely either ‘about to take a nap,’ ‘just woke up,’ or you didn’t respond...because you’re passed the f*ck out.

5. Blanket burrito > humans

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People may call you antisocial, but that's very obviously not the case. You just view all obligations as obstacles created to keep you separated from your beloved blanket burrito. You don't have a napping problem, unless the problem is that you aren't napping right now.

6. Happy hour? Uh, more like nappy hour.

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The phrase “I could be asleep right now” comes out of your mouth a LOT. You're also guilty of being the first one to book it at social gatherings so you can reunite with your groutfit and pillows.

7. Getting you out of the house is a 12 step program.

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Your friends know that they have to plan any social outings with you well in advance, or they run the risk of never seeing you again. They should know better than to make you choose between companionship and a pants-free snoring spree.

8. Getting out of plans? You're Houdini.

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Canceling on people without offending them is an art. Your last-minute storytelling is more resourceful and creative than an inmate trying to fashion murder weapons out of plastic utensils. When in doubt, tell your friends you have to drive your little sister to soccer practice. So what if it isn’t soccer season? And so what if you’re an only child? There’s no way they’ll see through that.

9. Welcome to the world of CPNR, or Chronic Post-Nap Rage.

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There’s that hour-long buffer zone right after you wake up during which you’re probably an absolute terror to be around. You want to be asleep and you’re pissed that you aren’t, and you take that fury out on the world around you. Not sure if you suffer from this little-known but totally legitimate medical condition? A good indicator is how your family reacts when you tell them you just woke up. If they bolt faster than Kardashians do from makeup remover, you probably have CPNR.

10. You got through this entire list and now you should treat yo' self with a nap.

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Reading this list has made you very tired and now all you can really think about is the location of the nearest blanket. All you do is nap, nap, nap, no matter what.