It’s Valentine’s Day! With all the powdered sugar clouding the air, it can be hard to figure out what’s worth eating and what’s not. Herewith, our complete and extremely thorough guide to what you should put in your stomach (and your sweetie’s) today.
1. First things first: Line up some classy chocolates for your boo.
If you didn’t order them ahead, it’s not too late to run to the store and lock those bars down.
2. Make sure you’ve got a nice bottle (or two) ready and waiting.
3. Or just go straight to the whiskey.
Here are eight of our favorites.
Just please, please, don’t give THIS to someone you hope to get frisky with.
Hand-carved fruit shapes are important and delicious, but they ain’t sexy.
4. If you have time, go ahead and get a little crafty with your gifting.
Fruit roll-up fortune cookies!
6. But steer clear of any foods that will compromise your allure.
Broccoli, that means you.
8. When it’s time for dessert, do NOT waste your time with candy hearts.
Even custom-made ones.
What you want is something (or several things) made of CHOCOLATE.
Lots and lots and lots of chocolate.
9. It’s totally fine if it starts with something store-bought.
What counts is that it’s a BROWNIE SUNDAE.
10. And, if you’re really in a rush, you can’t wrong with this.
That’s it, those are the rules. Now go out there and LOVE SOMEBODY.
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