19 Grilling Gadgets That Should Not Exist

If you’ve ever seriously considered using a meatball grilling basket, go ahead and smack yourself upside the head right now. posted on

1. Hot Dog Roller

What You Already Have That Makes This Unecessary: a grill

“Stainless steel rollers keep the dogs elevated off the dirty grill grate, and keep charring flames away from the hot dog surface.” … AKA make your “grilled” hot dog taste like you boiled it.

2. Basting Sauce Pot & Brush

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: a normal cup/bowl/container + a brush.

Also LOL because that weird metal disc on the brush handle would make it really difficult to actually see where you’re putting said brush.

3. Potato Grilling Rack

What You Already Have That Makes This Unecessary: a grill.

Are your potatoes hella hella tiny? No? Okay, then, it’s unclear why they would require a special contraption to support them.

4. Himalayan Salt Plate

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: salt, plates.

Not only is it confusing, it’s impermanent: “Plate can be used repeatedly until it eventually diminishes with use.”

5. Hanging Shish Kabob Set

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: an ability to consume food that isn’t hanging in the air.

Why would you string up an innocent kabob like that? Sadist.

6. Folding Rib Rack

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: a grill.

Again with the putting things on racks! When you could just…not!

7. Fill N Grill Patty Maker

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: hands.

Burgers are too important to be manhandled. Be gentle.

8. S’mores Grilling Basket

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: sharp sticks, a soul.

Hold on while I go out in the woods and cut me a hickory switch and poke you with it until you understand that the best part of s’mores is roasting a marshmallow that you’ve impaled on a sharp object.

9. Long Handle Salt & Pepper Set

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: arms, hands.

If there are flames shooting up high enough from your grill to make sprinkling salt on something impossible, you’re doing it very wrong. Also: Use coarse kosher salt and freshly ground pepper or get away from the grill.

10. The Spice Arm

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: See #9.

11. Meat Shredders

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: hands, forks.

Cool if you’re into murdering people, though.

12. The Ham Dogger

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: hamburgers, hot dogs.

HEY BRO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE RAD

WHAT BRO

IF YOU COULD MAKE A HAMBURGER EXCEPT IT WAS SHAPED LIKE A HOT DOG

LOL BRO YOU’RE SO HIGH RIGHT NOW

I KNOW, RIGHT

OH DUDE LOOK BRO AMAZON’S GOT YOU COVERED

13. Grill-Compatible Ebelskiver Pan

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: an oven.

I think the real question here is who wouldn’t want to bake their tiny spherical Danish pancakes on the grill?

14. Potato Nails

 

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: potatoes without nails in them.

Supposedly these make potatoes cook faster and more evenly, but a) humans have been happily roasting un-nailed potatoes for centuries and b) removing scalding hot metal nails from potatoes doesn’t totally sound like my idea of a great time?

15. Meatball Grill Basket

Thing You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: N/A. Why are you grilling meatballs? Stop.

16. Motorized Grill Brush With Steam Cleaning Power

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: a normal grill brush, functional elbows.

Let’s take something that works just fine and make it more expensive and less reliable by adding extra parts and batteries.

17. Corn On The Cob Grilling Basket

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: a grill, tongs.

And again with the needless use of cages. SET YOUR KERNELS FREE.

18. Cordless Grill Fan

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: wind.

There should be no need for this unless you’re using a grill inside, which you’re not, because why would you do a thing like that?

19. Bear Paws Meat Handlers

What You Already Have That Makes This Unnecessary: forks, hands, a desire not to impale your roast in 12 different places causing it to leech precious juices.

RAWR.

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