Some Questions For The New Girl Scout Cookie

The Girl Scouts are selling a new cookie this year.

Who took that bite out of you? How did it make you feel? Are they still alive?

Meet the newest addition to the Girl Scout Cookie troop: Mango Creme With Nutrifusion™. This is a cookie that promises exciting things.

But who, really, can say that they know the true Mango Creme With NutriFusion™? It is a cookie full of secrets and mysteries. We sat down with the cookie to learn more.

3. BuzzFeed: Tell us, what is NutriFusion™?

4. Mango Creme With NutriFusion™:

NutriFusion™ is a delicious new way to get your vitamins! Like I said.

5. Q: But, like, what…IS it?

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6. A:

Oh, you know, nutrients from natural whole food concentrate. As I state in my ingredients list, these include “cranberry, pomegranate, orange, grape, strawberry, shiitake mushrooms.”

7. Q: Wait, you’re made out of shiitake mushrooms?

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8. A:

Don’t even worry about it.

9. Q: OK, well, how much mango is inside of you?

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10. A:

Zero mango. My ingredients do not, in fact, include mango or any mango-derived substances. I do, however, include “the taste of mango”!

11. Q: So, are you at least *good* for me?

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12. A:

No trans fats, hydrogenated oils, or preservatives — just pure island delight!

13. Q: How many calories are there in “pure island delight”?

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14. A:

There are 180 calories in a serving of pure island delight. A serving is three cookies.

15. Q: So you’re actually less healthy than, say, shortbread Girl Scout Cookies?

Source: abcsmartcookies.com

16. A:

THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER.