1. "Ugh, I don't even know why people get married anymore!"
2. "Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, you know."
3. "Better not eat that if you want to look good in your wedding dress!"
4. "Ugh, anyone who has a destination wedding is a selfish asshole."
5. "I know the invite didn't include 'and guest'...but can I bring the girl I just met?"
6. "How about my best friend?"
7. "Can I bring my kids even though you didn't invite my kids?"
8. "BAN WEDDING REGISTRIES."
9. [Two weeks after the 'please RSVP by' date has passed)] "We haven't decided yet if we'll be able to make it."
10. "Hey, I'm going to need you to make sure I have a gluten-free meal."
11. "Ugh, that's so tacky!"
12. "Is it OK if I wear cream though?"
13. "You better seat me next to someone hot!"
14. "Everyone knows men aren't interested in wedding planning."
15. "Well MY wedding dress was made from recycled lentils and only cost $30 because I'm not a stupid sheep who spends money on a wedding."
16. "Ugh, OK, whatever, BRIDEZILLA."
17. "[Blah blah blah virginity wedding night wink wink nudge nudge]"
CAN U NOT?
