1. Whenever someone says “Born and raised,” after you say you’re from Philadelphia:
2. You follow the Tao of Jawn
Jawn is everything, and everything is jawn.
3. You’d take a roast pork sandwich over a cheesesteak any day
This beauty is from DiNic’s. Sorry Pat’s, Geno’s, and Jim’s, go home.
4. You only drink at bars that honor the Citywide Special (for less than $5)
You also tip your bartender extra for pickle backs on request.
5. You always remove prepositions from your sentences, i.e. “Going down the Shore,” “I’m done work,” and “I’m going over Sal’s house.”
Oh Mr. Morton, we’ve failed you.
6. It’s only “South Philadelphia” if it’s below Washington.
You’ve probably also danced the tarantella at the 9th Street Festival in the Italian Market.
7. You can name all of the Franks on the Dirty Franks mural.
Speaking of murals, we have more than any other city in the world.
8. You know how to pronounce Bala Cynwyd, Conshohocken, and Schuylkill.
The largest collegiate regatta, the Aberdeen Dad Vail Regatta, is held on the Schuylkill River every year.
9. You get all your best dance moves from the Phanatic.
It’s also a life goal to catch a hot dog from the launcher. Who wants a t shirt from a cannon? Pshhht.
10. You are also willing to wait in line at Chickie’s and Pete’s for some crab fries at the game.
And you’ll wait even longer on Dollar Dog Night.
11. The last time you went to the Liberty Bell was on an elementary school field trip.
But hey, we think it’s pretty cool to live in such an historical city. The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution? YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICA.
12. You have a very strong opinion about this statue:
Rocky is also on the list of things that are synonymous with Philadelphia, along with cream cheese, the Liberty Bell, cheesesteaks, and sometimes M. Night Shymalan.
13. You can’t remember the last time you went out on a weekend in Old City or on South Street and genuinely enjoyed yourself.
Except for a few choice dives, these areas are avoided at all costs due to the overabundance of people from Jersey and Manayunk.
14. You know there is going to be traffic on 76 NO MATTER WHAT.
Oh, it’s 3am on a Tuesday? That’s a totally reasonable time to expect traffic.
15. You can tell if someone is a local based on the way they say “Passayunk” and “Lancaster.”
16. This is a completely acceptable way to spend New Years Day:
You also know most of these guys work in unions or public service fields. The party’s on Two Street, yo.
17. You can spot a Penn student from miles away.
Have you seen the average Philadelphian? But hey, thanks Penn for continually having some of the country’s best hospitals, doctors, research facilities, and business schools.
19. You know that this is what a real soft pretzel looks like:
They’re also perfect with “wooder ice.”
20. The only person you trust to give you an accurate forecast rocks a bowtie like no other weatherman.
Just give it to me straight, Glenn Hurricane Schwartz.
21. Looking for a Fire Hall Wedding? NORTHEAST.
Everyone going to this wedding has known each other since birth. Possibly since gestation.