1. First of all, Charlie Brown is a ginormous buzzkill.
STFU Charlie Brown. Just wait until your 20s when you have to pay rent and live off the residue of stale cereal and broken dreams.
2. Same goes for this ray of sunshine.
Go away, Lucy.
3. These kids dancing. I can’t even with their dancing.
Look at that kid’s shoulders. Look at that girl’s early-onset balding. What the hell is going on here?
4. This doesn’t even make sense.
TREES DON’T WORK LIKE THAT, CHARLIE!
5. Snoopy is a real asshole.
He’s rocking some child molester eyes, real talk.
7. There’s apparently a kid who’s never showered in his life, which is highly disturbing. Do they have parents?
Here’s a close up, so you can get the full effect.
9. This delusional idiot with the blanket. Who is he again?
My heart is not warmed.