I killed your grandmother because that’s how I roll. Damn, I’m a bamf.

I needed a bowl of cereal because I’M A PIMP AND YOU’RE JEALOUS!!

I banged Santa Claus because I’ve got abs?! Just kidding, it’s really because that’s how I roll.

I ran shirtless with your mom because I’m sexy as hell. Yes, yes I did.

I stabbed a toothbrush (?) cause I’m sexy as hell

I BANGED A NINJA BECAUSE I’VE GOT ABS. yeah, sounds about right.

I stabbed a pickle because i loooove marijuana.

i killed a prostitute because i had to, seems logical enough to me

“I ran shirtless with a pickle because I am sexy as hell.” lol

I stabbed a crackhead because I love marijuana. If I only I had read this fortune teller before I stabbed RayRay Lopez last weekend.

i killed a cat because im a pimp and youre jealous

“I killed a lesbian because that’s how I roll”
I LOVE lesbians, that is not true at all. You don’t know me stupid category game. You don’t know me and you can’t judge. STUPID (I feel dirty now)

I banged the Kool-Aid man because I’m gay.

I banged a condom because I’m a pimp and you’re jealous (funny)

er, “Claus”.

I banged Santa Clause because I’m sexy as hell, FTW!

I killed your mom because I’m beautiful.

I raped a horse because I love marijuana.

I killed a prostitute because I’m sexy as hell !

I ran naked with a bag of weed because I love marijuana. Psh, everyone knows I do that.