Guys: “This is so offensive, we aren’t sex monsters.”  Girls: “This is so offensive, we COULD BE sex monsters if we wanted to!!!!!!!!!!!”

Oh, lighten up! Nowhere in this list does it say that things don’t work in the opposite direction as well. It doesn’t even intimate the notion that only men want sex. And it’s not like it’s “under these conditions, men have sex.” It’s “under these conditions, straight men WANT sex.” No one has to give it up involuntarily. Fuck, now I’ve been forced to explain this obvious and simple-minded joke to a thread with no sense of humor and it’s now totally unfunny to me. Thanks. This is why we can’t have nice things.

fine ladies stop getting mad and make your own

yes because gay men and women, bisexuals and straight women have no sexual desire only straight me! totally makes sense! or at least we have standards!

I have trouble believing that our sexual thought processes are that complex.

A 0/3 situation can still work if the following three conditions are met:
A.) Lots of Alcohol
B.) Other options exhausted
C.) Easy post-coital escape route
D.) Friends won’t find out

a 0/3 situation can and has been changed for amount of time since last sexy time happened

Har har. Women don’t think about sex.

The feminist in my head would make lists how this is gross, disgusting, evil, sexist, Hitler 2.0 made this, etc., etc.. However the male in my head goes “LOLz, so true.”

As much as it would be slightly different , I DO feel a womens version of this chart does exist ;) .
The very same societal norms that feminists say made our society so Chauvinistic and has made it into what we have today is actually part of the reason men act this way as well. In fact, I would say tweak what makes the target attractive and change the “want sex” to “likely have sex” and you have the womans diagram, they just go through the motions a little differently because them “having sex” is a mathematical equivalence in possibility to said male simply “wanting” it :P . It’s actually simple supply and demand economics.

two too many “X”’

Typical.