If you don’t tell me anything about food, I will sit awkwardly all night, hungry and gasping for a cuppa. I’m not saying write me a list of shit I can eat… It’s enough to just say ‘there’s bread/ham/cheese in here if you want a sandwich, the kettles here, help yourself’. Don’t make me starve!
2. Parenting Techniques
Please, please don’t hit or abuse your children in front of me. In fact, don’t hit or abuse them at all, ever. Doing this leaves me in an extremely uncomfortable position, as my employer I need to respect you and your parenting methods, but as a babysitter I need to protect the child’s health and wellbeing.
3. Health Warnings
Oh, little Susie? She’s upstairs vomiting her guts up. We’ll be home at 10. Bye!
I’m sorry, what? If your child is infectious, please have the decency to phone me and let me know. The chances are I won’t mind wiping snotty noses for a few hours, but anything more and you should give me the option to back out.
4. Coming home late
I have a life too! If you’re coming home at 1am, that’s fine. I will book my taxi for 1am and tell my parents I’ll be home at that time. But if you tell me you’ll be home at 9pm and you don’t return till past midnight, you can expect a pissed off baby sitter on the other side of the door.
This one is just downright dangerous. It’s bad enough being left alone with a strange animal but it’s worse if nobody warned you of it’s personality. If your huge lump of a German Shepherd doesn’t like having its belly touched, please tell me. If your hamster had a tendency to make a break for it, let me know so I don’t allow the children to play Find Fluffy.
ERMAGERD, so many rules are needed!! When do they go to bed? Can they have a biscuit? Can they watch TV? Do they get sent to their rooms? Can they drink hot chocolate? Figure this shit out!
7. Important Details
Your kid has a rash on his stomach. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a quick call- oh you didn’t leave your number. Your dog needs to pee… I’ll just go and let him out in the garden. Back doors locked. Where do you keep the damn keys?!
This is a major issue. Hourly rates should be agreed before you leave, we don’t want any of that I-thought-it-was-this-much shit. Make sure to have your money ready when you return home, your babysitter will not come back if all she hears is ‘I get paid next week/I didn’t go to the cash machine/any other lame excuse’