27 Celebs You Shouldn’t Know On A “First Name” Basis

Some celebrities can never be a “Madonna” or a “Cher” no matter how hard they try, it just won’t sound right. This list features celebrities that should NEVER drop their last name for it would result in sounding just plain weird if called out in a crowd…. Try it as you read these doozies.

1. “Yeardley”

Hey, Yeardley!… Yeardley, Yeardley, Yeardley. See? Sounds funny. (Adding “Smith” to it doesn’t help, either, does it?)

Yeardley Smith
Born: Martha Maria Yeardley Smith
Known For: Voice of Lisa Simpson

2. “Stockard”

Oh Stockard Channing. Your name. That’s what they’re saying about you.

Stockard Channing
Born: Susan Williams Antonia Stockard
Known For: Grease (1978)

3. “Skander”

“Skandar!!…Skandar!”

Skander Keynes
Born: Alexander Amin Casper Keynes
Known for: The Chronicles of Narnia Series

4. “Kelsey”

Kelsey…not very masculine sounding is it, Frasier Crane?

Kelsey Grammer
Born: Allen Kelsey Grammer
Known For: Cheers and Frasier

5. “Crispin”

Someone needs to go “Back to 1964” and change his first name. Something like: “Danny” or “Donald”…oh wait, nevermind.

Bonus Fact: It gets worse…His middle name is ‘Hellion’

Crispin Glover
Born: Crispin Hellion Glover
Known For: Back to the Future

6. “Joss”

Hey, how’s that recording career holding up? …Joss Kiddin’

Joss Stone
Born: Jocelyn Eve Stoker
Known For: Hit Song in 2004 “Fell in Love With a Boy”

7. “Topher”

Yeah, I’d say that name is what started it.

Topher Grace
Born: Christopher John Grace
Known For: That 70’s Show

8. “Wilmer”

Yo Momma so broke, she named you “Wilmer” (that’s all I got)

Wilmer Valderrama
Born: Wilmer Eduardo Valderrama
Known For: That 70’s Show

9. “Uma”

Uma gonna tell you, that is one “square” name.

Uma Thurman
Born: Uma Karuna Thurman
Known For: Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction (above)

10. “Sacha”

No joke, Sacha, your name’s kinda girly.

Sacha Baron Cohen
Born: Sacha Noam Baron Cohen
Known For: Ali G, Bruno and Borat (to name a few)

11. “Sigourney”

There is another version where she said: “There is no Dana …only Sigourney…” It’s a horror flick.

Sigourney Weaver
Born: Susan Alexandra Weaver
Known For: Ghostbusters and Alien films

12. “Joaqin”

Does that say “I’m Wa-Keen” or “I’m Jokin’” …cause you outta be with that first name.

Joaquin Phoenix
Born: Joaquin Rafael Bottom
Known For: Walk The Line, Signs and Gladiator

13. “Whoopi”

Have you ever thought of the fact that on the night she was conceived, her parents were literally “makin’ Whoopi”?

Whoopi Goldberg
Born: Caryn Elaine Johnson
Known For: Ghost and “The View”

14. “Hugh”

How many conversations do hugh think hugh’ll have when hugh’r talking about Hugh and Hugh doesn’t know if hugh are talking about Hugh or You?… awkwarrrrd.

Hugh Jackman
Born: Hugh Michael Jackman
Known For: X-Men and Les Miserables

15. “Liev”

I’ll take the bag and Liev. …uh, I mean leave.

Liev Schreiber
Born: Isaac Liev Schreiber
Known For: Scream films

16. “Dougray”

Mom couldn’t choose between “Doug” and “Ray”

Dougray Scott
Born: Stephen Dougray Scott
Known For: Mission Impossible 2 and Ever After

17. “Engelbert”

I don’t think Mr. Humperdinck’s last name is helping at all.

Engelbert Humperdinck (singer)
Born: Arnold George Dorsey
Known For: Hits like “Release Me” and “The Last Waltz”

18. “Channing”

Forgiven.

Channing Tatum
Born: Channing Matthew Tatum
Known For: Step Up, Magic Mike…do I really need to tell you?

19. “Famke”

I got nothin’

Famke Janssen
Born: Famke Beumer Janssen
Known For: Nip/Tuck, X-Men

20. “Kiefer”

Mr. Sutherland doesn’t like “Kiefer” jokes…. Take it easy, Kiefer.

Kiefer Sutherland
Born: Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland (yes, that’s seven names)
Known For: The Lost Boys, 24

21. “January”

Yeah, I guess you’re right, January. It could’ve been worse. Like: February, September, November…

January Jones
Born: January Kristen Jones
Known For: Mad Men, X-Men First Class

22. “Macaulay”

Having a nickname like “Mack” saved you I guess. But then you still have “Culkin”

Macaulay Culkin
Born: Macaulay Carson Culkin
Known For: Home Alone

23. “Sprague”

I’m sorry, but this one is puzzling to me. “Sprague”? There must be some “Paranormal Activity” interference on this name.

Bonus Fact: Her first name is her mother’s maiden name.

Sprague Grayden
Born: Sprague Elizabeth Grayden
Known For: Paranormal Activity 2 & 3

24. “Paget”

It took a Criminal Mind to come up with “Paget”

Bonus Fact: No relation to Punky

Paget Brewster
Born: Paget Valerie Brewster
Known For: “Criminal Minds” on CBS

25. “Tatum”

Guess what happens if she married “Channing”? …you’ll get it in a minute.

Tatum O’Neal
Born: Tatum Beatrice O’Neal
Known For: Paper Moon, The Bad News Bears and her famous father Ryan O’Neal

26. “Ewan”

Betcha didn’t know his name was featured in a song by The Turtles:

Me and you and “Ewan” me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy togetherrrrrr….. (well, Ewan seems to like it.)

Ewan McGregor
Born: Ewan Gordon McGregor
Known For: Trainspotting, Star Wars: Episode II & III

27. “Bai”

Bye, Bye, Bai.

Bai Ling
Born: 白靈 (Bai Ling)
Known For: The Crow, Crank: High Voltage

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