• 1. You refer to anything and anyone you don’t like as pretentious.

  • 2. You still make fun of gingers, even though that episode of South Park premiered nearly six years ago.

  • 3. You once moved all of the yogurt to the fiction section.

  • 4. You found one of the 500 existing copies of Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s F#A#∞ on vinyl, and you gave it to your dog to use as a chew toy.

  • 5. You host a talk show where you use a blackboard to teach adults history.

  • 6. More signs that you’re a pretentious asshole…