Milk her, ride her, and make her squeal like a piggy!
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If you like this list because you think it’s “ironic”…you’re probably a pretentious asshole.
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School is back in session and we’re all starting to get a feel for our new classes. And by “get a feel,” I mean see which classes don’t take attendance.
After “accidentally” holding a rally on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech, Glenn Beck is going on an international speaking tour where he’ll desecrate the anniversaries of famous historic events by holding horrible, hate-filled rallies on the spot these famous events occurred. Here is his tour schedule so far.
Sure its summer, but the phunny doesn’t stop just because school’s out. Here’s a list of things Phroth found funny in the month of June.
This article didn’t quite make it into Phroth’s April Phollegian, but its unique take on life in solitary confinement is worth reading for a few LOLs.
Final’s Week is finally here and you know what that means: Adderall-fueled cramming sessions, insomnia-induced delusions, and last but not least, trips to your local library. Of course, we all know that “Finals” actually stands for Fuck I’ve Never Actually (ever been to our school’s) Library. Fortunately for you, I happened to have a pursued a career (see: actuarial science) that has deemed me the equivalent of The Pagemaster. For the past four years at Penn State, I have spent enough hours in the library to rival that of even the most hilariously stereotypical of fictional nerds.
Phroth pranks a tour group passing through the Penn State campus.
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As the ‘Campus U’ Marketing Representative for Universal Studios in the State College area, it was my (Brandon Scott Wolf) goal to get more votes than any other schools in the Big Ten Conference. After 7,427 votes, The Pennsylvania State University won the Get Him to the Greek Challenge which brought Russell Brand, Jonah Hill and a screening of their yet-to-be-released movie to Happy Valley. As the Phollegian Editor for Phroth Magazine, I was able to go one-on-one with Russell and Jonah and talk to them about the film, their impressions of State College and so much more.
If you don’t get the joke after the first sentence, you’ve read too far.
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If you use Facebook, you’re probably aware of the fads on the site, whether it be changing your profile picture to a celebrity that looks like you or tagging friends in a picture of cartoon characters. Here are some things you can expect to do in coming months to remain a part of the herd.
Starting next week, Comedy Central will bring political satire to prime time as “The Glenn Beck Show” will move from Fox News to fill Comedy Central’s 10 p.m. time slot. (cont.)
MILAN—Dahmier Bach, a French male model, was banished from the modeling community after he popped a boner during a show last Friday. He has not been seen since. (cont.)
The production staff of Phroth, Penn State’s Humor Magazine came up with some hilarious ways dinosaurs would fit into society if they were still around today.
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Every year Phroth releases a Valentine’s Day Phollegian featuring a collection of hilarious cards for the holiday. Here you can find all the Phroth Valentine’s cards from the past few years to download, share and give to your friends!
The final season of Lost has started and we’re all incredibly excited. Not so much because we want to figure what the hell has been going on for the past six years, but because we never want to hear our obnoxious fanboy friends talk about the show ever again. That being said, we’ve made predictions for how the show is going to end anyway:
Twas a crisp autumn day back in 1997 and like any third grader, I was in my room playing video games on my SNES. The game was Mortal Kombat II, a game that I had never beaten. Now if you never played this game, Mortal Kombat II was an intense fighting epic that allowed you to battle vicious foes in a tournament to the death. If you have, you remember it was hard as fuck! The lives were limited and the opponents were numerous. But the worst part about it was that even if you performed flawlessly against the playable characters, once you reached the sub-boss Kintaro you were screwed. Despite countless attempts to defeat this colossal fiend, I was always overwhelmed by his sheer brute force. Words cannot even describe how tough Kintaro was…[cont’d]
When MTV’s Jersey Shore first aired, it was being hailed as the final slide in humanity’s descent towards complete moral bankruptcy. The show, which follows eight boozed up, orange tanned, self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes” as they fuck and fist pump their way through a summer at the Jersey Shore, was being considered the final nail in our society’s coffin, as if a combined eight seasons of Flavor of Love, I Love New York, and Rock of Love hadn’t already left America’s cultural landscape a barren, lifeless wasteland. But as our media outlets and middle-aged housewives gnashed their teeth over this virulent excuse of a television show, a much bigger threat in MTV’s programming schedule was able to slip by completely unnoticed. A show that is much worse and much more offensive than any hour spent glorifying slicked hair and twentysomething women getting punched in the face. A show called My Life as Liz.
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1. Charlie Sheen
1a. Charlie Sheen plays a character named Charlie who is based loosely on an actor named Charlie Sheen
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