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27 Things Only Tool Fans Will Understand

Spiral out, keep going. And going, and going.

1. There is nothing casual about being a Tool fan.

2. Tool will demand a lot of your time.

3. Sometimes it can seem like these are the only CDs you will ever need.

4. You need to focus when you’re listening to Tool.

5. You can’t listen to Tool on Pandora because you need to hear the songs as they are sequenced on the albums.

6. It is actually painful to hear the songs any other way.

7. You just don’t mess around with perfection, ok?

8. You have to be very, very, very patient to be a Tool fan.

9. But your patience is often tested.

10. Your feelings for Maynard James Keenan can be a sorta complex emotional thing.

11. But you know that Maynard is actually a really, really cool name.

12. And you’ve spent maybe a lot more time than you’d care to admit thinking about his penis.

13. And you truly appreciate his humility.

14. Basically, MJK can do whatever he wants and it’s cool.

15. After all, you’ve learned a lot about romance from the guy.

16. And he’s taught you a lot about science and philosophy.

17. And comedy, too.

18. You have some pretty complicated feelings about Los Angeles.

19. This might be the best tattoo in the entire world.

20. Though these come pretty close.

 

21. This is a work of art suitable for framing.

22. This is the best sports joke ever.

23. This is A+++ graffiti.

24. Tool inspires some Siri requests that you might end up regretting.

25. Pandora telling you that you can buy Tool albums on iTunes is hilarious.

26. This is how you hope to meet your future spouse.

27. And this is what you hope your children will be like.

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