1. Your first job out of high school was at Consolidated Cardboard.
You still live in fear of being fired, rehired, and then fired again by Old Man Dalrymple.
3. You bought all your favorite albums by Sister Sheila, Mother 13, S. Hitface, Old Skull, and Norse Savage at CD Submarine.
It’s also where you traded in your unwanted records by Kenny Dupree, Darren Robbins and the Rockstars, MickNickPickMickNick, and Pout.
4. You can’t watch Happy Days because they never show Funzie stealin’ nothin’.
He don’t make no one wear a car either!
10. You refuse to watch Survivor after what they did to poor Reggie Monroe.
What’s so wrong with a little pant rummage?
12. You have memorized every line of “Rock & Roll Dreams’ll Come Through” by The Gas Station Dogs.
19. You consider this book by Ronald Thomas Clontle to be the ultimate argument settler.
22. You’re still pissed off that Rambocky didn’t win the Academy Award for Best Picture.
23. You bought your last three cars at Gene Simmons Toyota.
It’s everyone’s dream and fontasy.
24. You are forever scarred by – yet totally obsessed with – the things you saw in The Magazine.
27. Your house is stocked with Hippy Johnny soap, toothpaste, and motor oil.
28. You still can’t believe Archie got the electric chair in the series finale of Archie Bunker’s Place.
- The U.S. government is suing Ferguson, Missouri, after the city tried to change a negotiated police reform settlement.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has dropped out of the 2016 Republican presidential race after poor results in New Hampshire.
- Twitter's shares fell steeply in after-hours trading after they reported a decline in monthly users 📉