10 Things You Should Be Able To Try Before You Buy Them

It’s unfair that only some things are “try before you buy”, because we all know that we’d save a TON of cash if we made that “sometimes rule” an everything rule. Why shouldn’t you get to try everything you have to commit to? Or better yet: someone else.

1. Children

epSos .de / CC BY 2.0 / flic.kr

Yes, we said it. Children are the ultimate commitment, so who is to say that we shouldn’t be allowed to try these things on before we have to keep them. We know, we know. The laws of genetics make this pretty impossible, but imagine all of the STRESS it would save us? If Costco allows us to try a few meatballs before we purchase a case of one thousand, we should at least get to play around with these kids before they’re sleeping on bunkbeds in our house.

2. Houses

phototouring / CC BY 2.0 / flic.kr

Peruse the real estate listings all you want. There is no walk thru that can safely predict the presence of ghosts and spirits inside your newly-bought house. Look how House on Haunted Hill turned out? If you’re smart, you’ll ask for a trial sleepover and when the Agent looks at you all funny, just turn to him slowly and whisper “Cassssssssper” into his ear. That ghost is definitely not as “friendly” as they say.

3. College Degree

COD Newsroom / CC BY 2.0 / flic.kr

This one’s obvious: Don’t Be An English Major.

Just kidding! Well, don’t be an English Major. But also, you shouldn’t have to be an ANYTHING major if you don’t want to be. Not at least until you can try that stuff out. This is a major life purchase—and who knows what (after four years of studying) that degree will get you in the real world.

4. Condiments

Quinn Dombrowski / CC BY-SA 2.0 / flic.kr

They’re often free, and in that case: GO CRAZY. But when condiments get fancy and start costing actual currency, there’s no way we’re buying without trying. That fancy ketchup is NOT red and honestly looks pretty disgusting, no matter how many times you claim it has special cayenne in it to “spice things up at bit.” We’ll dip our finger right in there, thank you.

5. Next Door Neighbors

@wewon31 #365 / CC BY-ND 2.0 / flic.kr

Along with a haunted house, you might also stumble upon a “haunted” neighbor after purchasing your dream abode. And by “haunted” we mean insane. And by insane we mean peeking over your fence and giving you unwanted advice. Don’t tell us Home Improvement was “just a TV show.” Wilson was a total creep.

6. Your Given Name

Michael Coté / CC BY 2.0 / flic.kr

If we’re gunning for Presidential office, there’s no way the name our parents gave us is going to work. We’ll go by “Baby A” until we’re 18 and capable of properly defining ourselves—no matter how bad the bullying gets.

7. Vacations

Jason A G / CC BY 2.0 / flic.kr

This is a big one. If you’re expected to use your precious vacations days to commit to a spot on the globe where “relaxation” is supposed to happen, how are you supposed to know where the next volcano will erupt? Or where a tsunami will appear? Flash floods? Godzilla monsters? Travel insurance isn’t enough assurance that you’ll get the vacation you so desperately deserve.

8. Bosses

reynermedia / CC BY 2.0 / flic.kr

A job interview is where your boss tests you out, but we think that you should also get a chance to test him (or her) out, as well. After all, just like your given name (see #6) you’ll be stuck with this one for who knows how long.

9. Underwear

Josh Pesavento / CC BY 2.0 / flic.kr

You’re telling us that the most important piece of clothing that we have on our body at any given time is something we can’t actually test before we purchase??!!!You’ve GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

10.

We don’t blame you. You SHOULD be able to try the new Pepsi NEXT before you commit. That’s why we’re trying it for you. That’s right. Us. For you. Other things we’re doing for you? You’ll have to click to find out.

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