Even in the privacy of my own bedroom, there’s something embarrassing about doing a workout video. I could be on a terrorist hotlist and the room could be bugged, or a distant neighbor with a telescope could, to our mutual chagrin, accidentally catch sight of me feebly trying to Transform My Ass in a Bikini Bootcamp. I guess fitness is just one of those things where it’s really hard to fake being cool whie you’re doing it.
I’ve started doing ‘80s aerobics videos because they’re still really effective and the music is so much better than the canned trance-house of modern workout DVDs. For some reason, the touch of irony (the jumpsuit leotards, the low-budget production values, the slap-bass-embellished soundtrack) eradicates any lingering self-consciousness issues I have. I’m not just exercising — I’m learning some new wave dance moves that might actually come in handy the next time I’m at a wedding reception, or someone plays Altered Images at my birthday party.
My first pick is Marine Jahan’s Freedanse (she played Jennifer Beals’ dancing body double in Flashdance), which has been uploaded in its entirety to YouTube. If anything, just watch the opening dance sequence. It will calm your heart and inspire you to soar to new heights of body synergy.