• Thank-God-I'm-Not-Preggers Cocktails

    And by cocktails, I mean shots of Jager.

  • Appetizer: Miscarriage-Inducing Chili

    Take a spicy chili recipe and triple the cayenne. The heat produced by spicy food is suspected to induce miscarriage.

  • Main Course: Plan B-bq Chicken

    You could make this in less time than it takes to have a first-trimester abortion.

  • Alternate Main Course: Bye Bye Baby Back Ribs

    It's important to have a choice. Some people prefer red meat to white meat, babies to no babies, etc.

  • Side Dish: Deviled Eggs

    Sperm meets egg - so what?

  • Dessert: Recycled Abortion Cake

    This should be a marbled red velvet cake, obvs.

  • For Those Who Showed Up Too Late to the Party…

    They can still have their third-quarter abortion cake and eat it, too!