35 DOs And DON’Ts Of Instagram, As Learned From Celebrities

Instagram should be reserved for preserving the happiest of memories, not for exhibiting your high level of social media vanity. There’s a fine line between “look at my cute charming life!” and indulgent bragging. Here are some lessons learned from those showboating celebs.

1. DON’T take photos of your food.

Not with Instagram, anyway. Remember that the nostalgic camera lens automatically turns any food into moldy, refried barf. Proof: this corn dog that Jessica Alba ate once. (Or maybe she didn’t — who knows?)

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Some pork that Jessica Alba ate in Shanghai.

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Justin Bieber’s steak.

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Some weird string cheese thing that Kim Kardashian likes to eat. The beginning stages of the saddest pizza ever?

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Ke$ha’s Disaster Soufflé.

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2. DON’T take a photo of yourself wearing hipster glasses.

Unless one of the tags is #poser. (via Jessica Alba’s Instagram)

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Emily Osment.

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Justin Bieber.

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3. DO take photos of/with random Asian people.

This automatically denotes that you’ve been to exotic places.

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Nicki Minaj.

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This dude loves dubstep (via Skrilex’s Instagram).

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Dane Cook, with Asian Man.

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Nicki Minaj <3’s Azns.

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Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield.

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4. DON’T take a photo of yourself trying to be a hipster.

“We’re trying to be hipsters.” — Jessica Alba.

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5. DON’T take a photo of your Starbucks latte.

Jessica Alba’s Starbucks cup.

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Taylor Swift’s latte.

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7. DON’T take a photo of your emo bangs.

Justin’s emo hair.

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8. DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.

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Maybe Zooey’s just talking to Siri or something.

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9. DON’T post photos from your “Girls’ Night Out.”

(via Lauren Conrad’s Instagram)

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10. Unless there are lesbian undertones.

Jenna Jameson.

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11. DON’T take photos of your shoes.

Dane Cook’s boring-ass shoes.

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Ugly shoes via the Kardashians.

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An unflattering photo of Kim Kardashian’s feet.

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Justin Bieber’s dumb shoes + jorts.

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12. Unless these are your shoes…

Lena Dunham’s cute shoes.

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13. Whatever this pose is, DON’T

Dane Cook.

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14. Also, whatever this pose is, DON’T.

Jenna Jameson.

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15. DON’T take a photo with your head cut off.

Ke$ha’s bottom lip + cleavage.

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16. DON’T take a photo of your feet.

Ke$ha’s toenails.

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17. DO post anything involving glitter.

Ke$ha, covering herself with gold glitter.

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18. DO take a photo of a toilet.

Unless you feel like it might be a symbol for your career. Drake’s toilet.

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Justin Bieber’s toilet.

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19. DO post a photo of yourself being incredibly brave as you undergo a medical procedure.

Jessica Alba, getting her second piercing re-pierced.

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Tony Hawk.

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20. DON’T post a photo of yourself at the gym.

Ugh, Drake. What a showpony.

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Oprah, chugging along on that elliptical.

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21. DO post photos of any anomalies.

Giant ketchup bottle (via Drake).

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Zooey’s giant zucchini.

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(via Tony Hawk’s Instagram)

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22. DO post any photos of yourself interacting with exotic animals.


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David Hasselhoff with iguanas.

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23. DON’T post photos of only yourself.

Lady Gaga has no friends.

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24. It’s NOT COOL to hint at suicide.

Oprah Winfrey.

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Or look insanely depressed.

Lady Gaga, again with no friends.

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25. DON’T post photos of yourself from the backseat of a car.

We get it. You have a chauffeur.

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26. DO post a photo with famous comedians.

It shows that you love to laugh. Drake with the Parks and Rec gang.

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27. DON’T post a photo of yourself making Duckface.

Kim Kardashian, pouting for no reason.

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Zooey, blowing the world a kiss.

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Christina Millian.

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Rihanna, blowing a kiss yet somehow making it look like a “fuck you.”

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28. DON’T post unnecessarily gratuitous photos.

Ashley Tisdale. Probably an outtake from an FHM shoot or something.

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Lady Gaga wearing a nude thong.

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29. DON’T post a photo of yourself, laughing alone.

There’s not even a salad??? (via Adam Levine’s Instagram)

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30. DO post a photo of yourself with a “Friday Night Lights” cast member.

Automatically endearing. (Taylor Swift with Zach Gilford.) <3 <3 <3

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31. DO post artsy photos of yourself.

How else are people supposed to know that you’re interesting??? Rihanna, being interesting.

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The Biebs, being all poetic.

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32. DON’T post gratuitous PDA photos.

(via Kelly Osbourne’s Instagram)

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Justin and Selena.

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33. DON’T post a photo of your creepy eyelashes.

They give everyone nightmares. (Can you tell who this is? I don’t want to have to type it again.)

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34. DO take photos with children, even if they aren’t your own.

Emmy Rossum with someone else’s kid.

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RiRi, with someone else’s kid.

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Justin and Selena, with a bevy of lil’ randos.

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35. DON’T post a photo of yourself looking at your own ass.

Possibly the vainest thing you could do. (via Rihanna’s Instagram)

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