1. This is No. 1, The Thames. It’s the bomb-proof 19th-century sea palace of your dreams, and can be yours for half a million quid.
The property, off the Isle of Grain on the north Kent coast, where the Thames meets the Medway, is a former military installation that a local builder bought from the Crown a decade ago. One possible problem: For most of the day it’s entirely surrounded by water.
2. There’s a muddy, half-mile-long causeway from the mainland that you can only use at low tide. Either that, or you’ll need a helicopter or boat.
3. Also known as Grain Tower Battery, it was used to defend the Kent coast during wartime.
4. It’s safe to say that it’s in need of a bit of work.
Or, as the estate agent puts it: “The property is of course in need of complete renovation but could be transformed into almost anything – a private residence, an offshore hotel, a houseboat community, outdoor pursuit centre, film location, nightclub, casino, to name a few.”
It would cost up to £1 million to make it habitable.
6. Beware the various unexplained trapdoors. And don’t worry about ventilation.
7. The spot where the anti-aircraft gun used to go is an ideal place for a swimming pool.
8. But don’t get too used to the unspoiled views: This is where Boris Johnson would like to build an estuary airport.
The good news is lots of people think the airport is too expensive to be built.