1. It’s been an exciting start to the year across the country. Hull resembled a TV crime drama as this laundry incident unfolded.
2. Doris Deahardie marked her 100th birthday in style.
The Retford Times reports: “Doris got so involved in the routine that she ended up with whipped cream on her face while LMFAO’s ‘Sexy And You Know It’ played in the packed venue.”
“She even took along a bottle of baby oil which was given to her as a present by her hairdresser.”
3. Coleshill in Essex became the Hollywood of England after TOWIE stars visited not once but twice.
4. The Sidmouth Herald was excited to see the town at the top of the “watches a lot of internet pornography” league tables.
5. But the dental care among the town’s criminals leaves a lot to be desired.
6. The powers that be in Woolmer Green in Hertfordshire decided SOMETHING MUST BE DONE about the state of the cooking hob in the village hall.
7. This fat cat is keeping up his New Year resolutions.
Max lost 2.8kg - from a starting weight of 8.5kg.
8. Meanwhile dogs are causing a nuisance to underwear in the north-east.
11. Former wrestler Clive Carpenter, 61, died on Boxing Day. Part of his home had to be demolished to get him to hospital.
12. At least North Devonians are finding legal way to amuse themselves.
13. It could be worse - you could wake up and start speaking in a Scottish accent.
Canadian Sharon Campbell-Rayment was knocked unconscious in a riding accident in Ontario in 2008. She lost some speech, but when her voice did come back, she spoke with a Scottish accent, which links to her Scottish heritage.
As The Scotsman reports: “Words such as ‘wee’, ‘grand’, ‘awright’ and ‘brilliant’ peppered Sharon’s vocabulary as she spoke with a Scots accent”
Five years on she still has the accent. “I could have ended up with any accent - French, Spanish, even Klingon - but I got Scottish. It was definitely a sign.”
14. Will.i.am really likes Nandos.
A chicken restaurant insider tells the MEN: “Staff were happy to send him his chicken, but three times in one day for the same person is a little more than Nando’s customers usually ask for.”