30 Menu Fails That Will Ruin Food Forever

“Can I get a diet cock with that, and is the cumcumber vagitarian?

1. “Yes, I’ll have some ruthlessly rimmed wings please…”

Dave Brighouse / buzzfeed.com
ID: 2643543

2. “Actually I’ll just have the viagra prawn warp.”

Angelique Neumann / buzzfeed.com
ID: 2643570

3. “Does that come with chips? Sorry, sheeps?”

ID: 2643758

4. “… And do you do diet cock?”

Mike Sanders / buzzfeed.com
ID: 2643545

5. “Ooh, free bears! I mean beers. No, actually just send the bear.”

ID: 2643791

6. Maybe steer clear of the crap dip.

ID: 2643665

7. And the bowel rice.

ID: 2643683

8. And the crud rice.

ID: 2643840

9. But there’s something for everyone out there.

ID: 2643676

10. On second thought I think I’m not hungry any more.

ID: 2643747

11. In this case, words really can’t describe what this Chinese takeaway does.

RT @Singyamatokun Engrish on the back of the menu is worst I've ever seen! << reads like Chinese version of Ron Manager

— Nick Barlow (@nickjbarlow)
ID: 2636383

12. “Sandwichis.”

ID: 2636404

13. This doesn’t sound amazing.

ID: 2636407

14. Well, this is at least a resourceful approach to pest control.

Great menu typo

— Suzanna Hermans (@oblongirl)
ID: 2643827

15. As is this.

There appears to be a typo on this Chinese menu

— Kevin Pang (@pang)
ID: 2644002

16. All vagitarians catered for.

ID: 2636415

17. There is in fact a worrying number of food establishments offering vag-related items.

ID: 2643904

18. A really worrying amount.

ID: 2643985

19. “Round-cut aborigine.”

ID: 2643885

20. “Mmm, cumcumber.”

ID: 2643950

21. “SCOTHCH”. In fairness you would be saying it like that after a few too many.

ID: 2644039

22. There’s nothing like a pub lunch. Like this dish of belly pork with “jew.” Or “jus.” Whatever.

ID: 2643931

23. The horsemeat scandal hasn’t affected these people one bit.

Considering last yr's meat scandal, maybe not the best picture to have on the front of a Chinese takeaway menu

— L (@MrsCupcake79)
ID: 2649189

24. But the “meat taps” sound lovely.

ID: 2644075

25. Meanwhile, takeaway drivers are given some very strict instructions these days.

ID: 2636422

26. Be careful if you choose to pick up the food yourself, though.

ID: 2636429

27. At least this one was polite.

My cat is sad because our local Indian takeaway menu no longer has a misprint saying "thank you for your costume".

ID: 2636468

28. And hey, why not go for a celebrity endorsement! If Conservative MP Eric Pickles thinks it’s good, it can’t be bad.

This takeaway menu has just landed on my doorstep: yes that really is @EricPickles

— Kaye Wiggins (@kayewiggins)
ID: 2636474

29. Semi-ironic rockers The Darkness can’t get enough of this curry house.

Still the best takeaway menu of all time...

— Gourmet Gorro (@gourmetgorro)
ID: 2636490

30. If all else fails, you can always take advantage of this timeless offer.

ID: 2636456

Correction: This post originally mentioned “chicken fingers,” which are an unheard of food for our highly cultured staff members over at BuzzFeed UK.

ID: 2655569

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Patrick Smith is a senior reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
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