lol

Ice-T Narrated A Dungeons & Dragons Audio Book And Didn’t Understand Any Of It

Failed a saving throw vs nerds.

1. He pioneered gangsta rap, but now Ice-T is a broadcaster and successful actor as well as a musician.

2. Dungeons and Dragons, meanwhile, is the 1970s gaming phenomenon that went on to spawn thousands of roleplaying adventures, both of the computer and non-computer variety.

3. The two came together this week when Ice agreed to read an audiobook for Audible.com. He had no idea it was hardcore fantasy fiction inspired by the D&D universe before he turned up. He said on his own podcast this week:


I did this thing, I read an audiobook for Audible…. OK they didn’t tell me that this was a mother****ing Dungeons and Dragons book. Now those of y’all out there that don’t know, Dungeons and Dragons is some crazy deep, deep, deep nerd shit.

So every word is made up, mother****ers talk like Yoda. How do you read this shit?

It took me three and half hours to read 25 pages. I’m only reading a short story it’s like 45 pages, I have to do it in two days. I’m walking in there like ‘I got this, I get three hours’. I needed breaks, I needed water.

Considering the way music is right now, you’re better off listening to a book, it’s more entertaining, honestly.

4. He has a particularly difficult time getting his head around the Tolkienesque world of epic fantasy fiction.


What were we talking about? Pegasuses, pegasii, that’s horses with wings. This mother****er got a sword that talks to him. Mother****ers live in places that don’t exist, it comes with a map. My God.

I told my manager, don’t ever book me for this kind of shit again. Let me do a porno or something - I know about that.

5. So if you’re looking for a famous rapper to narrate your next fantasy fiction epic, maybe try Ice Cube.

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6. Listen to the whole thing here.

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