1. Why not treat his schlong like a ping pong ball.
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3. Pretend to be surprised by his member.
4. Because there is no sexier phrase than “I’m going to give you a vaginal thumbprint.”
5. Spice things up a little – literally.
6. Combine sexy time with snack time by introducing a donut to the bedroom.
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7. Become a sexy hand dryer.
8. Turn her on, somehow, by shouting down the phone.
9. Don’t break the skin or anything.
11. Put her in a sexy burrito / straitjacket.
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