10 Disguises You Should Never Use In A Heist

Don’t be a dumb criminal. Be like Parker and use the perfect disguise for the perfect crime. Parker, starring Jason Statham, comes to theaters on January 25th.

1. A Zebra

Zebras seem innocent enough, but unfortunately everyone knows they only live in Africa and would therefore look out of place.

2. Ecce Homo

Although you can pretend to be a painting hanging around innocently at the scene of the heist, you would ultimately end up drawing far too much attention to yourself.

3. A Headless Person

People would be inclined to call the police if you showed up anywhere like this and that would be a big no no.

4. Legos

Sure everybody likes Legos, but people might start running away in fear when they realize that their toys have come to life.

5. A Praying Mantis

The bright neon green would attract far too much attention for this disguise to work.

6. Beeker

Your incessant meeping might wind up getting you killed before you accomplish your heist, so no.

7. An Anglerfish

Although the built-in head lamp would be useful in dark spaces, people may start wondering why a fish was moving on land.

8. Billy Mays

You’re trying to pull off a heist, not sell soap at 4 am silly.

9. The Blue Screen Of Death

Remember, the point of a disguise is to blend in and not trigger traumatic emotional responses from everyone around you.

10. Man-Barbie

Just don’t. Trust us on this one.

Learn a thing or two about disguises from Parker.

Parker, starring Jason Statham, comes to theaters on January 25th.

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